Our Simple Expressions

Come On Over and Thanks

2009-12-19T22:38:00.005-05:00

New blog, ya'll.

From now on, please find us here: http://www.chasefireflies.com/

Would love if you came to stop by. Paul has designed one fancy site and organized me. (Sweetheart.)

And many thanks for keeping in touch with us in the past. Really, thank you.

Much, Much Love-
Kristin

(See below post for tech-y stuff about the change.)

Random Technicalities that I Know Nothing About

2009-12-19T21:54:00.008-05:00

This is Paul's post for any of you who can understand. I have zero idea about what he is talking about. If you can comprehend this, you are the smartest person ever.

1. Comments on the new blog will be handled differently. We have it set up to require approval for the first time you comment (it will show up once we approve it). After that you should be good. Let us know if you have trouble commenting.

2. One cool new feature will be threaded comments. This will enable you to reply to someone else's comment. (It will appear directly below it.)

3. Do you randomly type in a blog address whenever you think about it or bookmark several blogs? It's much easier to subscribe. (That way you're not checking stuff at random. When someone posts something new, you'll know about it. If they don't post for a month, you haven't wasted time checking.) Here are some options:

a. Subscribe by email (click here) and have post updates go to your inbox.

b. You can also use an RSS reader like bloglines or google reader (our preference). All of your favorite blogs can be consolidated in one place. Once you get setup, add this feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/chasefireflies

4. If you subscribe to this blog (the expressions one), in order to view the new blog (chase fireflies) in a reader, you will need to re-subscribe using this RSS feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/chasefireflies

12 Kids and Pennies

2009-12-13T13:29:00.000-05:00

a need: A typhoon hit the community where Rodean lives (our youth group's sponsored child.)

a lesson: Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs was the real deal for the Israelites, except with Manna. Today, God provides for us so that we may provide for others. (Our Children's Church lesson 1st-6th grade)

a response: 12 children + 6 weeks + pennies = $73.64 + $73.64 (our church board matched their total- yay for them rewarding a child's faith!) = $147.28

*the best is that these kiddos gave what they had and for some it was just a quarter they found at McDonald's and nickels from school*

Yeah! The students almost tripled their goal with their Compassion Cups! I wish you could've heard their cheers (and little happy dances!)

The total was sent electronically last week, so it may be in his family's hands now.
Looking forward to hearing how God continues to supply Rodean's family's needs...
Thanks to all the kids, their parents, Pastor Charles, and the board for allowing us to do this.

Autistic/Artistic Creations

2009-12-12T00:09:00.000-05:00

Meet Lipid the Lover.

We bought Lipid from Nate, an amazing young guy with one proud dad. And proud he should be.

Nate creates little creatures, much like Lipid. Each one comes with its own story. Here is his:

Lipid used to be bored with life. Every day seemed the same.

But all that changed the day Lipid's pet caterpillar ran away, for it was then that Lipid realized that everything he had could be lost.

And this is how Lipid learned what love is and the secret to experiencing everyone, and everything, as new.

Now Lipid's favorite quote is: "The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost."Gilbert Chesterton

You can buy more of Nate's creations here. Enjoy!

72 Wrens and She

2009-12-09T15:48:00.005-05:00

She was beautiful in crimson. I was transfixed for a good ten, till I realized that this was strikingly odd behavior.

I was watching a bird.

You should have seen her though. Against the bleak winter deadwood, framed against white crisply fallen snow, she cascaded around with such elegance.

A bird.

Of course, there were other birds. Wrens, I think. Maybe 72 of them, swooping from the tree branches to the bird feeder. They made enough trips to the feeder that I wondered what was in those seeds. It's a seed for crying out loud, but they didn't seem to care. And they were noisy.

But my eyes weren't on the wrens. Just on the cardinal.

Where ever she flew, my eyes tracked her. Amidst the barren trees and bushes, you could find her anywhere, dressed in scarlet. She was beautiful. Quiet, graceful, seemingly purposed. Not making a million trips back to the seed, not talking over the others.

Is this what God intended for his followers?

Including myself, I'm not so sure that we're holding up our end of the bargain.

The world has been dodging us for quite sometime now, rolling their eyes, fuming over our hypocrisies. We're in our own little world of bashing and propagating and belittling grace, with raised eyebrows and low whispers. We're consumed with all that is not of Christ and it shows.

Sometimes the world takes up a cause better than we do. Sometimes people who could care less about Christ sure care more for others.

Take my dad, for instance. Best guy you'll ever meet. Kind, thoughtful, hard-working, considerate, generous.

He'll look homeless people in the eyes and listen. He'll buy the office donuts and coffee. He treats cats like they're queens. And he has never, ever, ever in the history of being my dad - said one harsh word to me.

Yet he does not claim to have a relationship with God.

Do you want to hear about some Christians I know? They'll make you sick, but you know them too. On any given day, I am one of them. We're 72 wrens. Everyone looking like the other, consumed with seed and noisy chatter. Forgetting that we're covered in Another's blood.

Forgetting that we were created to bring beauty to the deadwood.

This winter, I say here's to all the cardinals. Let's make random strangers look out their windows and stare at Christ. Not the gargantuan plastic baby you'll see in someone's yard, but the Christ that caused droves to follow Him. The Christ that caused grown men to climb trees, tear apart a roof, and risk their identity for a cause greater than themselves.

He's God with us and in us. And He's painting the world in scarlet, even still.

Much Loved December

2009-12-08T13:54:00.000-05:00

This is my favorite Christmas CD eva.
What's yours?

We Come Like a Hurricane

2009-12-06T15:40:00.003-05:00

We arrived in RI last night - by packed out minivan - to celebrate Thanksgiving and Christmas with the Violets.

And this is what ensued:

First snow of the season.
Selah ripped off half of her nail in a filing cabinet.
Paul flooded my parents' toilet.
Adden threw up all night long. (First time ever, I might add:)

Is this for real?

I am laughing now. (After the cleanup, a nap, a shower, and the impression that Adden just might be okay after all.)

Too funny. Here's hoping for less drama the rest of the week:)

The Gospel, According to Nutcracker Man

2009-12-04T14:27:00.001-05:00

Once upon a time, an old Nutcracker got his arm amputated under a pile of Christmas decorations. His jaw met a similar fate - except this time, by the hands of a small boy - not by the name of Fritz, but Adden.

The Nutcracker, as you can imagine, looked rather pitiful, to say the least.

So in a fit of Christmas cleaning and goodwill to match the season, Frantic Mother suggested, "I think we should finally throw Mr. Nutcracker Man away."

This heartless statement was met with tears from the Little Girl, who clutched Broken Nutcracker Man even more closely than before.

"But Mommy, I love him."

Still not getting it, Evil Mom replied, "But honey, he is very broken. He doesn't look nice as a decoration anymore and he can't crack nuts without a jaw."

"But Mommy, He's my Nutcracker and I love him. Even if he is broken, He is mine."
At this point, Frantic Evil Mom stops the flurry of decorating and cruel remarks and looks into her daughter's eyes. "You're right, sweetheart. Don't ever let Mommy throw Mr Nutcracker away. He has someone who loves him very much. And that's what makes him special."

Little Girl beams and runs away with a treasure.

Sometimes elements of the Gospel play out for us in our very homes.

That is, if we're not too busy and frantic to notice.

Just The Perfect Gift

2009-12-03T15:29:00.006-05:00

It's about that time of year when I shift into high Christmas crazy gear and go nuts.

What could be the perfect gift for that incredible someone?

I've been googling, racking my brain, whipping out any crafty in me, asking friends for suggestions, and stressing - till I stumbled on these words today.

Every good and perfect gift is from above,
Coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights,
Who does not change like shifting shadows. - James 1:16-17

Relax, Kristin. Remember all that you have in Christ.
Receive from Him first. Then give that away.

Geez.... that changes everything.

Paul Wants a Snuggie and I Have Frito Residue in the Keyboard

2009-11-30T21:42:00.004-05:00

Some of you are feeling bad for me due to the last post.

Please don't. That wasn't the intent. I just want to make changes.

Most of my posts are random. Like Paul in a Snuggie (poor hubs has bronchitis) And like the Frito Residue (at 9:48 every evening I crave salty awful food, when I do so well all day eating like a rabbit.)

I love random. But I'm holding out for random with a purpose, in community. Writing about what I sort of know and love (God, dreams, family.) Like more practical, takeaway stuff. Where other voices are heard, just as much as mine. A listening more than talking deal.

And balance? I struggle with this. (Case in point = my house = current disaster + I just ate a million Frito's)

You have to admit... My blog does end up teetering on the sad, weepy, introspective side:)

If I am to imitate my Jesus, that's an unfair assessment of Him.

Life has its tears, yes. But life with Christ has hope, above all. And laughter. That's the stuff I don't want to forget. Cause there's beauty in the whole of it.

Hope that makes sense. Thanks for listening, friends.

Much love, tears, hope, joy, peace, and the whole shebang,

Kristin

Five Reasons Why I Won’t Read My Own Blog

2009-11-28T22:18:00.003-05:00

1. It’s wordy.
2. It’s melodramatic.
3. It’s glum.
4. It meanders.
5. It’s one-sided.

I’m not really sure why you’ve chosen to read this blog up till now, except that you're awesome and kind. Thank you for that, really. It means a lot to me that you care.

I started blogging because writing is cathartic to me, like a tall Starbucks on a bad day. Putting my writing online held me accountable to something deep within me. I liked that.

But recently, I read over old posts. What I found made me so sad. It’s for sure my heart, but only on a day where I’m stuck in the house without air. And I live for the windows open.

Do you know that I perform flying leaps into my bed at night? (They're spectacular.)

Or that I like to break it down?

Have I told you about running on the Great Wall of China? Or snorkeling in coral reefs? And the time that we explored North Korean underground tunnels (Guns pointed our way, but no worries.)

Did I mention that God rescued me from crazy fears? And is still rescuing?

Nope.

Most of all, I neglected you very nice reader of mine. So, keep posted, if any of you are still left.

Some changes are a brewing.
The windows are opening.
I'm ready to chase this life with friends.
And I sure hope you’ll come along.

"Happy Birthday Thanksgiving!" - Adden

2009-11-26T21:07:00.008-05:00

2009 Thanks
Little Man: baseball fields and baseball bats
Little Woman: little bear, mom, dad, pink, and "so many things"
Big Man: good health for the clan
Big Woman: our kids' joy and 9 years engaged to the hubs

A Pen, A Cape, and Thank You

2009-11-25T00:06:00.005-05:00

I would’ve thought that if a woman had saved Thanksgiving, then I would’ve heard of her. But it’s quite likely that I haven’t been paying attention.

Her name was Sarah Josepha Hale. And she was incredible.

Sarah was only 34 when she was left widowed and penniless, with five children. Her husband died unexpectedly, and with him died her dreams. It was said that they were crazy about each other. I imagine that she got through such unspeakable tragedy, because she had to be strong for someone else. That's my guess, at least.

To add to her personal tragedies, she lived at a time of national insecurity and civil unrest. She could have easily retreated to fear. No one would have wronged her for it. Instead, she picked up a pen.

With that pen, Sarah authored two dozen books, the first published at age 39. She became the editor of the first women’s magazine in America. On that platform, she urged equal education for American girls, started childcare for working women, fought for the abolition of slavery, founded the Seaman’s Society to provide for destitute women, and came up with the idea of public playgrounds.

Over her lifetime, she wrote thousands of letters to presidents. It’s hard to believe that with all of those achievements, she’s probably best known for writing “Mary Had a Little Lamb." Well, that, and the saving of Thanksgiving.

Since the first Thanksgiving celebration in 1621, the holiday had only been celebrated sporadically, by individual states. And it was losing ground. Sarah thought that making Thanksgiving a national holiday would help to heal a broken land.

She wrote presidents for forty years, petitioning for this idea. She is quoted as saying, "There is a deep moral influence in these periodical seasons of rejoicing, in which whole communities participate. They bring out . . . the best sympathies in our natures."

In 1863, one letter did the trick. Amidst the brutality of the Civil War, Abraham Lincoln resonated with Sarah’s idea. That year, he issued the Proclamation to secure Thanksgiving as a national holiday. Amidst the trenches of adversity, with gunshots firing, he rose up to give thanks. He gave thanks because Sarah had asked him to.

Was this woman for real? Yeah, but the strength that we see in hindsight, was fashioned by her pain. That’s the way that it always is, but yet I still need reminded. Her achievements are enviable, but they were built on failures and committed persistence; a fiery-like diligence to small, inconsequential efforts every day.

She got up in the morning and wrote a letter. She got up in the morning and made breakfast for her kids. She got up in the morning and sang a silly song about sheep. Maybe some days, all she did was get up.

Upon reading her life's story, she became one of my favorite heroes. I am blown away by such a life. But I also know so many individuals just like her.

Even as I type, names are coming to mind of friends and family who get up in the morning to fight challenges bigger than themselves. But they get up anyway and forge ahead. I am ever grateful for these unlikely heroes, whom God has placed in my path.

They may not see their legacy this side of eternity, but it's being written page by page. Thanks.

Stage Lights Off

2009-11-22T00:15:00.005-05:00

I am a performer. Always have been. Maybe it's the first-born thing going on. Maybe it's the classical ballet training. Maybe it's because I crave being loved and valued.

Truth be told, it's all of it.

As a child, I lived to hear my mom's words of affirmation. I fought hard to get my dad to glance my way. I was a student obsessed with grades, to the point of pulling near all-nighters as a 6th grader. After 3 hours of ballet lessons with a stringent ballet master, I spent another hour in pointe on a tiled kitchen floor, feet blistered and bleeding.

I am a performer. If something can be measured, I will exceed any expectation. Test scores will be perfected and the choreography will be flawless for the performance. But that's just what it is. A performance.

I'm done performing. I've stepped off the stage. It's not authentic. It's not real. It places value only on measurable assessments. It lives for the approval of others - the accolades, the applause, bouquets of roses.

It's taken me a long time to realize that my value does not lie in a trophy, a degree, or in any achieved goal. I'm embarrassed to admit that. My value does not find itself in any success, nor does it lose itself in any failure. It does not lie in my children.

My value comes from being a child of God. He died to set me free. From the stage, the expectations of others, the approving and disapproving alike.

It is by grace that I have been saved.

It is by grace that I have been saved.

It is by grace that I have been saved.

So help me Jesus. To live for One name. To die to everything else.
So help me friends.
So help me family.

If you hear me value the words of others more than the words of my God,

call me out.

If you feel in your heart that something is fake. And I'm just not being real,

call me out.

If you see me investing time and money into costumes that hide insecurities,

call me out.

Sometimes I just can't see beyond the stage lights, but I so desperately want to.

It is by grace that I have been saved.

I still can't comprehend how Jesus has loved me on the stage and off. How His love has been my constant, always a constant; never swayed by any ridiculous direction I've turned. I so love that about Him.

He values me, because I am His. And that's all that ever mattered anyway.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-11-18T16:51:00.004-05:00

Before me, even as behind, God is, and all is well.

~John Greenleaf Whittier

Sometimes I Forget Sugar

2009-11-17T23:24:00.005-05:00

Made some incredible Pumpkin Scones for a breakfast with some friends tomorrow. Yum. Haven't cooked them yet, but they're hanging out in the fridge. They sure better turn out because their counterpart failed me.

The Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Bread had the illusion of perfect and easy. But alas, I left out sugar from Loaf Number One. (I'll blame it on the children, who were fighting fires in their bathing suits.)

With Loaf Number Two - nothing was left out, but I left the lad in. In the oven indefinitely whilst reading Horace and Morris, but Mostly Dolores will fail you every time.

Oh well. Banking on the Scones.

Megan, thanks for getting me cooking again, beyond the old standbys. Now for following directions.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-11-11T15:19:00.000-05:00

As we express our gratitude,
we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words,
but to live by them.

~John Fitzgerald Kennedy

Thank you, Veterans.
Thank you.

It's a Yes!

2009-11-10T21:32:00.005-05:00

Congressman Altmire has decided to co-sponsor the Child Protection Compact Act!

Whoohooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Whoohoooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Got an email Friday from his DC foreign affairs staffer confirming his sponsorship. Still waiting to actually see his name on the legal document, but I suppose there is some paperwork to file first. For now, I'll take his word for it:)

Thank you all so much for praying! Thank you, also, to Pastor Charles and Amy Gerwig for coming with me as advocates. Not sure I was so willing to have gone alone:) And Paul, thanks for getting on my case about calling his office, even though I was intimidated by the lack of prior response. Yay!

Now to pray that the bill gets passed. And that money can go to bring hope, freedom, and healing for children around the world.

Yeah, God! Whooohoooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is to my Father's Glory

2009-11-05T19:30:00.009-05:00

I'm a girl who doesn't cry often, but when I do it's anything but pretty.

Deep red splotches creep up to hide my pale complexion as ivy covers a wall. And I don't cry in a one tear trickle kind of way, but in torrents of a hyperventilating disaster.

Most often, I cry about stupid stuff. Like another dinner disaster. Something so small gets added to the top of a teetering tower and I lose it. The tower crumbles.

Yesterday's tears had more substance than a burned casserole, though they certainly caught me off guard. I sat in a chair with a coffee and Bible - my favorite time of day. All settled in and quiet, I expected a nice feel good devotions. Spend time with God, then carry on with my happy little afternoon as usual.

I think yesterday Jesus wanted more.

The burden on my heart for a little girl whom I didn't even know was so strong that I felt I could barely breathe. She is a girl who is as sweet as my own. A girl who wants so desperately to be found, valued, and treasured. A girl who has been a victim of indescribable abuses. A girl, esteemed by her Creator, even in the prison of someone else's indiscretions.

I tried to read the Bible, but all I could do was pray and cry. Maybe spending time with God isn't always about getting the good vibes. Maybe it's allowing His heart to filter into this very selfish heart of my own. I so need God's vision, because mine can be so taken up by the next best thing. Forgive me, Jesus.

Forgive me for not taking the time to fight for your children. To pray for them. To be persistent in letting their voice be heard.

It had been 2 months since my last contact with Congressman Altmire. He still hasn't decided to co-sponsor the Child Protection Compact yet. Paul had been faithfully at me for contacting him again, even though I had given up.

So I bit the bullet and dialed his Washington office yesterday. Nothing new to report, but his international affairs staffer and I had a good talk and another contact was made.

After our call, Ecclesiastes 5:8 found me at random. "If you see the poor oppressed in a district, and justice and rights denied, do not be surprised at such things; for one official is eyed by a higher one, and over them both are others higher still. The increase from the land is taken by all; the king himself profits from the fields."

This verse gave me the creeps. The trafficking of children is a rich business. The third largest in our world. Many are making money off of this girl. Her poverty is another's riches.

Who knows what Altmire will decide. There are a total of 82 co-sponsors now. That seems pretty good for a bill to me. What I do know is that this girl's fate does not lie in my hands, nor in any government official's hands. Her life is held in the firm grasp of God. A God who is good and just. Who offers hope from hearts of despair and beauty from the face of evil.

I cried a lot yesterday. But those tears were good. Cleansing. Repentant. Valued. And in the unsightly sobbing, the Holy Spirit's presence in me was undeniable. Word after word came out of a source deeper than my shallow one. Peace for me. And a blessing of peace for this young girl.

"Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you, He rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for Him." Isaiah 30:18

"Strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way; say to those with fearful hearts, 'Be strong, do not fear; your God will come, He will come with vengeance; He will come to save you..." Isaiah 35: 3-4

"A bruised reed He will not break, and a smoldering wick He will not snuff out. In faithfulness, he will bring forth justice." Isaiah 42:3

"If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. This is to my Father's glory..." John 15: 7

My wish is for her rescue.
Freedom.
Justice.
Arms of compassion.
Strength.
Healing.

This is to my Father's glory.

2nd Most Adorable Nephew Ever!

2009-11-04T15:47:00.004-05:00

Welcome Cory Jonathan Charles.
Born on October 30th (4 weeks early!) and weighing in at a whopping 6 lbs 10 oz for a preemie!

Congratulations to Jon and Ashley and big brother Kayden!

The little man snuggled in my arms last night and he is just perfect. Perfect!

Would appreciate your prayers for him though, as he went back in the hospital today with jaundice. It's a traumatizing experience for a mom whose hormones have tanked. Being sleep deprived and wondering about the unknown can also be difficult. (Pray for Ashley and Jon too.)

Thanks:)

Give This Christmas Away

2009-11-03T15:00:00.005-05:00

Just wrote a post about Operation Christmas Child on the ministry-to-children website.

If any of you have kiddos and are looking for a way to show them just what happens to their Christmas boxes they compile, check out the video embedded in the post.

Grab a Kleenex though. The Veggies just may make you cry.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-10-28T23:06:00.002-04:00

"Thanksgiving Day comes, by statute, once a year;

to the honest man it comes as frequently as the heart of gratitude will allow."

- Edward Sandford Martin

It's Been a Month?

2009-10-27T22:24:00.006-04:00

So Paul says it's been a month since I've last posted. I had no idea. I suppose that's like me.

Here's a wrap-up of October:

The Good:

Intentionally trying to learn balance and set boundaries.

Investing in friendships more. This is a place I've always fallen far behind, but I know God
intends for us to live in community, so I'm trying to work towards it.

Spending days outside in the leaves with the kids. I love being a Mom!

Our yg students gave Paul a guitar for Pastor Appreciation Month (and the kids and I gifts
too) - that really meant a lot to our family. We love those students! And Paul is so deserving. I love him, love him, love him!

The Bad:

A lot of teaching this month (subbing for others), but am thankful that we've got jobs. Plus, I do love what I do, even if that means dressing up like a clown every now and again.

My brother left for France for a year, but I couldn't be more proud of him. Love that guy,
even if he does buy bikes without seats, to save a few bucks.

Paul's guitar was stolen in a break-in of our church. The thieves got away with a lot. Praying
they come to Jesus. Praying that I give more credence to trust, not fear.

Down for the count the last few days, but thankful it hasn't been the flu.

The Ugly:

Added another scar to my back last week. No melanoma, just a moderate precursor, so they had to go in for more. Am so thankful that God has given me excellent health and a great doctor!

Anyway, I probably won't be posting as regularly (the whole balance thing), but maybe every so often, you could still stop by and visit? Hope all is well with you, or at least the good outweighs everything else.

Much Love Because of Jesus,
Kristin

Happy 90 Boppie

2009-09-24T22:37:00.006-04:00

For the LORD is good and His love endures forever;

His faithfulness continues through all generations.

Psalm 100:5

Love you so much.

Latest Articles

2009-09-23T13:52:00.005-04:00

Here are a few of my most recent posts at the Ministry to Children Blog:

Glorifying God as a Ministry Team

Children's Books that Engage the True Princess

and A Lesson on Self-Control (a free resource for children's church)

Hop on over to the site if you get a chance. Thanks!

Parachute Bubbles and Cupcakes

2009-09-22T22:10:00.006-04:00

Selah's 4th Birthday Party was at Gymboree this year.

(Working there does have its perks!)

Here we are mixing up her pretend birthday cake.

And eating the real birthday cupcakes.

Her favorite boys exploring the prince's castle.

Riding in a princess carriage with a friend.

Catching sugar sprinkles for tea cookies.

Thanks to all who made her birthday so special this year!

Our favorite part was her smile. It never left!

A Letter to My Daughter

2009-09-17T15:57:00.006-04:00

Dear Selah,

No one really knows what your name means. Nor how to say it, poor girl. See-lah, Sell-ah, Say-lay. Sorry, babe. Your Dad and I still love it though. God placed a ton of significance on people's names. We figured we would too.

Some say Selah means to pause; to stop and think about what you just heard. It's used all over the psalms, usually in the side margin, in italics. "God is our refuge and our strength, an ever-present help in trouble...Selah" (Psalm 46:1)

Selah gives emphasis to the Word of God. Instead of plowing forward, you're supposed to reflect, to consider what it means for you, to study. Your Dad and I would be lost without this Word. In Hebrews, it says that God sustains all things by his powerful Word. We can't comprehend all things. Sometimes we can't comprehend anything, but we certainly know His Word has sustained us.

There are some who believe that Selah also comes from the Hebrew word Calah, meaning to weigh and measure, or evaluate. Some think that it is a word like a boundary or marker of sorts - a place to stop in our journeys for a moment to catch our breath. Still others believe that it's a term of worship, like a musical notation, an interlude. Whatever it means, I think we all need a little Selah in our lives. Or at least your Momma does.

Sometimes I feel as though this world is careening out of control. There are images, people, technology, words, needs, and products screaming for our attention. Though I've never been one for the fast paced life, I easily find myself getting swept in the current. If I don't have Selah time, I lose it. Selah reminds me to, "Turn my eyes from worthless things and to preserve my life according to your word." (Psalm 119:37)

Sometimes this world also feels doomed to destruction. And in a sense, it is. There is so much hurt and pain that I want to shield you from. I fear the tears you'll cry, the despair you'll see, the words that will cut your tender heart. But held in a snuggle close to mom, you'll never grow. It's good for me to know that there's a God who clings to you tighter than even me. May you grow in the grace and in the knowledge of this Jesus who has come to save the world.

In His grasp, you'll learn trust, beauty, justice, and peace. May His hold on your life be without question. In His word, you'll find joy, wisdom, strength, and endurance. May His words captivate you to believe impossible dreams. You can do all things, my child, through Him who gives you strength. There is hope to be brought to the world. It began with Christ. May it continue with your Mom and Dad. Then you and your brother.

As you already know, this world is not all there is. Tinkerbelles may not sprinkle us with pixie dust, but there is a dimension out there that our eyes cannot see. Pain does not have the final say. Death is not the end. Perfect love has driven out all fear. God came so that we might have life and have it to the full. Out in the open, with arms widespread, music that stirs you to dance, and head held to the sky.

All this to say, happy birthday, my Selah. May four years old find you not reading this, but playing in the dirt, worshipping in the rain, and holding your baby dolls close to you. May it find you climbing up mini rock walls, trying persistently to draw your S, and dressing up as a princess always.

And when much older years find you, may this letter encourage you to pursue the most valuable things in this life: Selah time with the God of all hope, every dream written upon your heart, and the beauty alive in this day we call today.

Love you like crazy,
Mom

Show and Tell

2009-09-16T13:28:00.003-04:00

Selah had her first show and tell at school today. She thought long and hard about what to bring in... her baby Madeline, her favorite book Let's Pretend, a paper bag puppet we made together...

The final decision was tea pot. She couldn't wait to tell her friends about a special tea party we had last Friday with her very special grandmother and great grandmother.

A big hug for her special gift!

Chocolate covered strawberries!

Pink lemonade!

Her very first tea party! Yeah!

A big thank you to her grandmothers for making this such a special time for us!

It was beautiful! We love you!

Black Tongue

2009-09-15T17:00:00.004-04:00

So I’m medicating my mouth at work when I notice that my tongue is black. Like really all black.

And I freak.

Is it going to make it? Is it going to fall out?

I sprint to the office and google black tongue. Second result: “black hairy tongue.”

No. Black is bad. Hairy is unmentionable. You have got to be kidding me.
My tongue is going to sprout hair?

I eat like a rabbit. I actually floss. I try to work out. I am weird about germs. How does such an individual grow a hairy black tongue?

So I read lots of unreliable sources.
And I determine that my tongue will pull through this time.

My homemade remedy for the ulcers (as advised by the Doc) is the culprit.
Maalox + Children’s Benadryl = Black tongue (It's the anti-acid's fault.)

I even did a scientific test. No remedy, cute rosy tongue color. A day of remedy, black tongue. By the way, there was no actual hair sproutage - just an appearance as such. I know - it's unmentionably repulsive, but I can't stop laughing about it. It cracks me up.

So there you have it. Now you'll know.

Do freakish things happen to anyone else? Please tell me they do.

Worlds Meet Up Again

2009-09-13T01:40:00.005-04:00

She’s 23. She loves Jesus. She’s got a single ticket for the DMZ. And she’s going to change the world.

Four a.m. wakes her up. With a coffee and these words of life, in the land of the morning calm. Every day, it’s four a.m., with the God who has changed the world.

She’s a teacher. Chalk on her hands. Ill-fitting heels and a denim skirt. Piles of papers to grade. Children to inspire. With Dante and division and documentaries. Most everyday seems mundane. But the ordinary finds Divine. And Divine finds the ordinary.

She’s 26. She’s 31. She’s 34.

Some things look the same. She loves Jesus, her beautiful Jesus. She hopes she always will.

Some things look different. More than the lines when she smiles, she’s not alone anymore. She’s woken up to the best of dreams, with those who call her Kristin and mom. She is making a home in a different world, on this side of the East.

There haven’t been chalk smudges on her skirts of late, but still everyday finds its mundane. Laundry and diapers and dinner. Mr. Rogers, scraped knees with tears, and cleaning a house that never gets clean. Ordinary is loud, the Divine is a whisper. She forgets that she’s going to change the world.

In walks 19. 34 listens.

To a heart that loves Jesus. In one hand she holds a ticket for Africa; in the other those words of life. And she’s going to change the world. It’s in her giddy rambles and the excitement in her eyes. She’s fearless and alive and in love. In love with the One who has redeemed our fall.

34 hears a lot of things over tea that night. She hears hopes and dreams, questions and quirks. She hears the 23 she used to be, and she wants to find her again. Better yet, she wants to find that all out abandonment in God again, that fearless and unscripted devotion.

Word of God speak.

When the ordinary defines every day, find me in the Divine. Find me fearless and alive and in love, running towards the One who has rocked this world with His love. Don’t ever let me forget that I can do anything through Christ who gives me strength. Anything.

I love you 19. Ashley, maybe this will explain the tears in my eyes.

Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity. – 1 Timothy 4:12

My Turn, I Guess

2009-09-10T16:41:00.003-04:00

If you guys could pray for something, I would really appreciate it.

I'm not having heart surgery or anything, so I feel funny asking you to pray for something that seems so small and insignificant. Nevertheless, it's been a struggle of late to get up in the morning.

This is the second time in a month that I've had a mouth full of ulcers. I'm not just talking a few. I can deal with a few. These little buggers are lining my gums, cheeks, tongue. My mouth feels raw. I'm embarrassed to even mention them cause they're so gross.

Talking and eating really stinks. But the worst thing is the fatigue that accompanies these guys. I sleep like crazy. I have no energy to do anything. And I just really want to be done with them. I want to feel normal again. Enjoyable to be around. Not as spacey. Fun.

That's all for now. I don't want sympathy; just prayer. Thanks, friends.
Much Love,
Kristin

Wordless Wednesday

2009-09-02T15:29:00.001-04:00

Live in the sunshine,

Swim the sea,

Drink the wild air...

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Can I Pray?

2009-08-29T22:00:00.002-04:00

Hey there. Haven't asked in a while. What can I be praying for in your life?

Shoot me an email: kristincharles@hotmail.com. Thanks.

Much Love,
Kristin

Lookin Good

2009-08-28T22:02:00.004-04:00

Me: Adden, how old is Daddy?
Adden: One?
Me: No. Try again.
Adden: Two?
Me: No. Try again.

Selah: Adden, say ninety. He's ninety.

Visible God

2009-08-27T15:31:00.003-04:00

Lord, I have heard of your fame;
I stand in awe of your deeds.

Renew them in our day,
In our time make them known;

In wrath, remember mercy.

- Habakkuk 3:1

I've Never Asked for 50 Million

2009-08-25T20:13:00.006-04:00

If you threw up a few prayers for me and our crew on Monday, thank you.

It meant everything to me, really everything. To all of us. Thank you.

A moment before walking into Congressman's Altmire's office, I couldn't steady my hand to text Paul. My heart raced. An ugly thought sneered, "You don't even know what you're talking about."

And then we walked in. Me. Pastor Charles. Amy Gerwig.

And I felt peace. And confidence. And strength that wasn't my own. It seemed like we all did.

We laid a framework for our involvement in the issue.
We provided stats:

* 158,000,000 children are victims of human trafficking (Actually, I blanked on this stat, so I just said a very vague, "UNICEF estimates that there are millions...oh well.)

* Children that are trafficked are engaged in the worst forms of child labor:

* Enslavement that endangers the physical and moral well-being of children, debt bondage, mandatory military involvement, use of children for drug production and trafficking, use of children for prostitution and pornography, etc.

* The US State Dept lists trafficking as the world's third largest criminal enterprise.

We respectfully asked for his support and cosponsorship of HR 2737:

This bill, called the Child Protection Compact Act of 2009, allots 50 million dollars over three years to the State Department's Trafficking In Persons office (TIP.)

With that money, TIP would provide grants to a number of different National Government Organizations, including International Justice Mission, World Vision, Amnesty International, The Polaris Project, Equality Now, Sojourners, etc.

With previous grant money received over the last 5 years, IJM has been able to investigate foreign pedophiles, obtain official release permits for children enslaved in work camps, and provide after-care services to children who have been rescued from the "industry."

(On a side note - in one city in the Philippines - over a 2 year period of working with local law enforcement - IJM has seen a 75% reduction in child prostitution - 75%!!!!!!!!!!) IJM's work is incredible.

Though IJM has been supportive of current TIP grant making, the money has been widespread (distributed to 43 countries and over 100 different NGO's) but not sufficient enough to eradicate a problem of this magnitude.

That's why this bill is asking for more. The goal is an abolition of slavery in our lifetime.

Altmire's response:

Lots of questions.
Lots of talk that flew over my head (technicalities of the bill process.)
A friendly and informative conversation, certainly a foundation for future advocacy meetings.

Bad news: He didn't sign on the dotted line to co-sponsor the bill right then and there.

Good news: It certainly sounded as though he would in the near future, after reading the bill in its entirety. And we have contact information for 2 of his staffers, in the local office and in Washington. We are to check back in 2 weeks if we haven't heard anything about his support first.

So it's a start.

Please keep praying. For a commitment to be made on his part. For meetings around the nation just like this one. For the bill to be passed. And for the money to impact millions of children internationally.

Thanks, again, for supporting us if you did.

And keep an eye out for that young Amy Gerwig. I knew Pastor Charles would be awesome with Altmire. He has wisdom and knowledge and a quiet confidence and articulation...

But Amy, man. For 18, she was the bomb! Fearless and smooth. She made the situation personal to Altmire because he thought of his own daughters (with comments she made.) I was so proud of her. You go, girl!

Bet she never thought she would ask for 50 mil either.

Confirmed for the 24th!

2009-08-18T23:40:00.005-04:00

UNICEF estimates that there are nearly 2 million children in the commercial sex trade worldwide.

2 million kids just like my own. Just like our youth group students.

I can't handle that. At all. But ignoring the reality doesn't help either.

On Monday, August 24th at 11:30, I'll be meeting with Congressman Altmire to urge him to cosign the Child Protection Compact Act of 2009. As IJM states, "This bill supports poor countries’ efforts to stand up to criminals that traffic children by investing in effective law enforcement that puts traffickers and slave owners out of business and behind bars."

I'm SO excited to have gotten a meeting. And COMPLETELY freaked out.

Got some studying to do and prep work till then. Won't be online much.

If you're available on Monday and local, please consider coming along. Paul's Dad (and the pastor of our church) will be joining me. The more voices, the better.

If you can't make it this time, please pray. I would cherish your prayers much. I don't know what I'm doing. And this is out there for me. But 2 million times worth it.

Thanks and Much Love,
Kristin

Offerings

2009-08-18T21:27:00.001-04:00

I want to leave an offering,
A child of mercy and grace who blessed Your name unapologetically.
- Nichole Nordeman

VBS '09

2009-08-14T14:11:00.004-04:00

As soon as we returned from RI, we dove into VBS - a summer highlight!

Selah LOVED it this year - God talks, friends, art projects, penguins, and ALL!

Adden really just loved hanging out with G'andma and G'andpap:)

I taught 6th graders this year - a blast!
Great questions, long discussions, and plenty of ridiculous.

So proud so proud so proud of our youth group students.
They make our VBS program and DAYCAMP work (them and God.)
They got game. Energy. Mad leadership skills. Crazy bout kids. Love for Jesus. Yes.

These two girls rock. Our kids love them. We kinda do too.
Thanks, Laurie, for all of your hours of work. It was a fantastic week!

A Little RI

2009-08-13T22:54:00.005-04:00

Adden reading the Journal with Uncle Dan - our favorite Violet evening pastime.
A little Pawsox Game sibling love - baseball is in their blood!

The Children's Museum with Mimi and Papa.

Crescent Park Carousel - Even better now than when I was five.

Rides now are 75 cents. Been around since 1895.

My 89 year old Boppie - a history text come to life. So grateful for this guy and his heart.

Behold - the Princess Castle.

My favorite place in the world. All that's missing here is Paul.

Crashing into the waves. Covered with sand and loving it.

Collecting seashells. Warm sun. We heart the beach.

Fantastic trip minus the drive:)

So thankful for my jammin family, friends, home, God, creation.

Love love love this place.

Happy Eight Babe

2009-08-04T23:46:00.003-04:00

I love you Paul.

And I love our life together.

Thank you for being you.

Always,

Kristin

Ministry to Children Posts

2009-08-03T20:40:00.006-04:00

Here are a couple of my more recent posts published on the Ministry-to-Children site:

5 Simple Relationship Builders: Practical ways to build relationships with children you serve.

And

Children's Development: A guide to development (cognitive, social, physical) for kids 0-3.

Check out the rest of the posts while you're on the site. There's tons of practical information here. I've personally found the blog to be very rewarding. Enjoy!

DC Missions

2009-08-02T22:15:00.008-04:00

Here are a hodgepodge of pics from our students' mission trip to DC.
If you prayed, thanks. It was an incredible opportunity.

The students served children with special needs all week.

Here's a pic of Rob, one of our leaders.

The girls during youth group devotions - another favorite part of the trip.

We were pretty proud of these cats.
They worked hard with the best attitudes.

We ended the week at DCLA.
The theme of the leadership conference was Be. Love. Serve. Repeat.

Another one of our leaders - Abby.
We're so thankful for all the work she and Rob put in.

Cooking up dinner at the Week of Hope.

A treat out to ESPN zone.

We all split meals and/or ate Paul's much talked about chocalate chip cookie dessert.

Here's Joel, on the left, who can't keep from talking about the week.

And we kinda hope he doesn't ever stop.

Some of the girls - Lillian, Sarah, and Megan.

I think they're waiting for the guys for once.

The Washington Monument at Midnight.

Francis Chan was one of the speakers at DCLA - fantastic.
If you haven't read Crazy Love, please get a copy.

All in all, fantastic trip.

Lots of God moments, fun, work, and time together.

Now for 2010 Peru.

Ugly

2009-07-28T23:53:00.006-04:00

Just a heads' up. This post is not going to be pretty, so stopping while you're at it would be a good suggestion. For real. I am infuriated and repulsed and deeply saddened by an issue destroying the place I once called home.

Rhode Island is the place of my roots. There is a level of comfort here in the coming back. The fierce ocean waves, gritty sand in between my toes, drinking a Del's lemonade, clam cakes. There are the carousel rides, the cliffwalk, Pawsox games, waterfires. I love this place. Like really love it.

And yet I am coming to realize that this is not the home that some residents ever know. Their home is their prison. They are victoms of trafficking. Sure, in some cases prostitution is a choice. In other cases, women and children are bought and sold without any consent. Every freedom that I know to be true is lost to a pimp and politics who count their cash.

Rhode Island just got ratted out by a 16 year old runaway who was permitted to strip for cash. You've probably heard all about it. Turns out, she's allowed by law to continue. Even Vegas prohibits child abuse. You've got to be at least 21 to work in a club there. Not in RI. I suppose she didn't rat out the state after all.

If that weren't horrific enough, Rhode Island permits indoor prostitution. It is the only remaining state that sanctions it. Providence is littered with clubs, but so are small town communities. Massage parlors have infested the state and will continue to do so if these laws are not changed.

Since the seedier side of RI has broken into the news, the media has had a heyday. A recent clip on Fox news shows Bill O'Reilly shaking his head and laughing at the loopholes in the law. He is quoted as saying, "They might want to fix it up there. You might want to fix it in the Ocean State."

Come on now. The segment was almost portrayed as an advertisement for traffickers and predators. Was there no better way of highlighting this problem than through sarcastic laughter? How can anyone have the gall to laugh when children and teenagers are being abused? Maybe the attention was beneficial if it infuriated people. But only if it infuriated them to do more than shake their heads.

Are we just not getting it? Do we not care? If Rhode Island doesn't change its legislation soon, this state's problems are going to amplify across the nation and world. As it is, three neon x's are screaming to offenders that there's freedom to be found here. Freedom for offenders. Modern day slavery for the offended.

As this state continues to reap profits from the industry, it is also going to reap a sludge of problems. Prostitution ramps up crime, is inherently debasing, destroys families and communities, and preys on our next generation. Individuals enslaved to their traffickers undergo severe physical and psychological abuse, are forced into drug and alcohol abuse, and are at high risk for deadly disease. It sickens me to no end that children are trafficked to my home to know no other life but this.

Now that you've read this rant, I'm sure you're sorry. I told you it was ugly. I've ruined your morning, upset your stomach, stolen happy for today. I didn't mean to. I just needed to speak up to someone, for someone. And you were caught in the crossfire. Sorry.

Writing this will have done nothing to stop these injustices. I know that. They're words on a computer screen. But it's how I could find peace with my pillow for tonight.

I don't know where to begin to deal with this. But I know people who do: my friend Court, International Justice Mission, and oh yeah - Jesus. (Courtney runs with only the best.)

Someone once said, "This world is not mine to save, but I can serve the mission of God Who has already done so." Amazing words to live by. Now to figure out how. I guess I've got a lot of figuring out to do.

Goodnight.

34 Going on 13

2009-07-26T00:19:00.003-04:00

Upon asking my Dad for a hairdryer today and upon him supplying it, he then wondered if I knew how to plug the thing in. He asked me if I could plug in a hairdryer.

That worries me.

In an earlier instance, I was awakened at 7:45 because breakfast was at 8:00 because lunch was promptly scheduled for 12:00.

During our 8:00 am breakfast, I requested permission to run and shower immediately following. I was denied permission, but was given a revised schedule to meet my needs for running off one too many clamcakes and for not reeking.

My brother and I have contemplated sneaking out one of these nights for the first time ever. I'm 34. He's 29.

But then again, we would never do it. We adore our parents and they would freak. Maybe we shall request permission to sneak out first.

All ridiculousness aside, it's good to be home and spend time with them. They've set the bar for hard work and diligence in this fam. And I'm a disciplined woman today because of them.

And I can plug a hairdryer in to boot. Yeah.

Truth Be Told

2009-07-25T00:13:00.003-04:00

There have been negative updates lately due to:

Missions trip
Recouping from said trip
Work

The usual suspects like being wife and momma
Visiting with my fam in RI
Minimal Internet access here

But mostly

I just figured out how to post on my own blog
After all the cute changes I made.

I must be brilliant:)

Paul would be soooo proud.

Please Pray

2009-07-09T23:19:00.003-04:00

Paul's grandma (Pastor Charles' mom) went home to be with Jesus today. Please pray for the family as they grieve. I am still planning on meeting up with Paul and the missions team in DC tomorrow, but we'll come home early on Monday for the arrangements.

Selah told me at dinner tonight that she knew just what Grandma Charles was doing. She said that Jesus was giving her a big old hug. I like that image. I love that child.

Thanks for praying,
Kristin

Wordless Wednesday

2009-07-08T09:00:00.001-04:00

You can kiss your family and friends good-bye and put miles between you,

but at the same time you carry them with you in your

heart, your mind, your stomach,

because you do not just live in a world but a world lives in you.

~Frederick Buechner

New Look

2009-07-08T01:40:00.002-04:00

I'm missing Paul
And can't sleep.
Coffee be the culprit.

Thus...

I've jazzed the blog
With dandelions
Cause there's a gospel in those weeds.

Maybe.
Or maybe I just need sleep.

Mission: Manassas

2009-07-06T22:12:00.003-04:00

Check out our Mission Team's blog here. It's good stuff.

If you get a chance to comment, I'm sure they would love it! Thanks!

Prayer Guide

2009-07-05T09:00:00.001-04:00

Hey Guys-

Paul left today with our Missions Team to Manassas, VA. (Sad face, mine.) I hated to see him go, but love that God will do brilliant things in and through everyone involved. I'll meet up with everyone on Friday to help out with a Leadership Conference in D.C.

The following is a prayer guide that we've created for our Team. We would really love if you prayed with us on a daily basis. I'll keep you updated if you care:) Thanks!

Much Love,
Kristin

Here goes:

SUNDAY, JULY 5th
Pray for safe travel for the team, including Rob who is flying into D.C. Pray as they receive their responsibilities for the week. (Already prayers answered:) Pray that they start making connections with team members of other groups.

MONDAY, JULY 6th
Pray for the team as they head to their ministry projects. The team will be working with many special needs children. Pray that the students are challenged as they serve so that their faith grows. Pray that they work humbly, hard, and without complaints. Pray for meaningful connections to be made with those whom they serve.

TUESDAY, JULY 7th
Pray that God deepens relationships. Pray for our students and leaders to see opportunities that are available to them, even when it feels like there are roadblocks. The students will have Tuesday evening free to spend as a youth group, so pray that they have safety and a great time of team building.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 8th
The students will continue the projects at their sites. Pray that they will see God clearly at work in their service to Him. Pray for individuals to come to Christ. Pray for students to be challenged in the morning and evening programs and through personal devotions.

THURSDAY, JULY 9th
Pray for the teams to complete the work that they began at the sites. Pray for good attitudes and energy to get through the last full day of ministry. Pray for Abby and Heather as they travel back to PA in the evening.

FRIDAY, JULY 10th
Pray that the team makes it to the conference safely. Pray for safe travel for Aprille and Kristin as they drive to D.C. to meet up with the team. Pray that God deepens relationships with Himself, as the team is challenged by the first evening message.

SATURDAY, JULY 11TH
Pray for the team as they attend seminars, learning labs, and an evening message. Pray that they are challenged to “Be” the people whom God has created them to be.

SUNDAY, JULY 12TH
Pray for continued growth in Christ. Today the students will be challenged to “Love” those whom God has called us to love. Pray that God is honored in worship. Also pray for Aprille and Christin as they travel back Sunday night.

MONDAY, JULY 13TH
Pray for the team as the conference concludes. Today, the focus will be “Serve.” Pray that all will leave this week changed and affected for a lifetime of discipleship. Pray for safety as the remaining team members travel back.

Freedom

2009-07-04T14:06:00.006-04:00

Today

Amidst
Red white and blue
Hot dogs and hamburgers
Fireworks
And parades

We celebrate our freedom.

But I can't help but wonder
If we're living in freedom
When we're slaves to

Consumption
Indulgence
Self
Technology
Media
Our own messed up desires.

Being an American does not make me free,
Though I thank God for the freedoms this country allows
And the soldiers who have lived and died to secure that freedom.

Being a follower of Christ makes me free,
Because God has rescued me from myself.

Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.
- 2 Corinthians 3:17

This is My Prayer

2009-06-29T06:54:00.001-04:00

May God bless you with a restless discomfort about easy answers, half-truths and superficial relationships, so that you may seek truth boldly and love deep within your heart.

May God bless you with holy anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may tirelessly work for justice, freedom, and peace among all people.

May God bless you with the gift of tears to shed with those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, or the loss of all that they cherish, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and transform their pain into joy.

May God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you really CAN make a difference in this world, so that you are able, with God’s grace, to do what others claim cannot be done.

And the blessing of God the Supreme Majesty and our Creator,

Jesus Christ the Incarnate Word who is our Saviour,

and the Holy Spirit, our Advocate and Guide,

be with you and remain with you, this day and forevermore.

AMEN

(A Franciscan Blessing)

Drawing Our S

2009-06-27T21:10:00.012-04:00

Dear Selah,

You were tracing an S last week when you crumpled to the floor in sobs. You just couldn't get the curve to go your way, so you vowed to never draw an S again. With a name like Selah, that's going to be difficult, babe.

You wear genes of perfectionism like your mom (and dad). The bad news is that you're doomed. The good news is that you can get over it. Nothing will ever be perfect, no matter how hard you try. But you keep trying anyway.

Your momma, at 34, is just beginning to figure this out. I've got a history of drawing my S with funky curves. But I've got a longer history of not even trying. And that's far worse than one bad S.

Like when I...

Skipped swimteam tryouts because I didn't have the fastest crawl.

Refused to give Festival Ballet a shot after getting cut the first time.

Chose education over journalism, even though all I've ever wanted to do was write.

Not trying for fear of failure really stinks. It'll prevent you from being who God has created you to be. His perfect design for you may be thwarted by your own fear. Don't let it get the best of you.

Little by little, your momma is learning to try. And fail (sometimes miserably). And keep trying.

I never swam on the team, but I became a lifeguard.

I never danced for Festival, but I got to choreograph in college.

I never got my journalism degree, but I'm finally starting to write.

A few months ago, I entered my first writing contest. I wrote my best piece, but it wasn't good enough. Someone else won last week and they deserved it. It's a great read. Check it out here.

At first I thought I would be crushed. Crumpling up into a ball sounded spectacular. No doubt I was disappointed. I really, really wanted to win. But I didn't and that's okay because I tried.

Better yet, I'll try again. And so, I pray, will you.

One of these days, your "S" will look just right. And maybe by then, mine will too. Maybe we've both got a pen to pick up. And some pride to get over.

Love you like crazy,

Mommy

Good Reads

2009-06-26T15:21:00.004-04:00

Posts I've enjoyed lately:

Richer than You Think - One of my favorite posts by my friend Court.

Nurturing Geniuses - Hmmm... Good parenting stuff to ponder.

A Young Quiltmaker's Dangerous Surrender - Wondering what this means for me, us.

It's a Boy! - Whohoo! Another nephew is on the way!

From One Child to One Million - A video celebrating Compassion.

Green Smoothies - Yum. Get over the color.

What A Few Flamingos Will Do - :)

Happy Daddy's Day, Paul!

2009-06-21T08:01:00.001-04:00

We Love You Tons!

Thanks for being the bestest ever.

Compel Me to You

2009-06-19T14:44:00.000-04:00

Wisdom is

Profitable
Precious
Rich
Honoring
A treasure

Proverbs 3:17 says that, "All her paths are peace."
Not always mine.

I can be

Frantic
Driven
Poor
Anxious
Irritable

When wisdom isn't sought.

God invites us to, "Lay hold of My words with all your heart....
Get wisdom, get understanding." (Proverbs 4:4,5)

I want to walk with steps unhampered.
I want to run and not nosedive.
I want to live a purposed life.

Those words of His;
I need to guard them

From
Too busy
Too tired
Too enamored

With me.

Proverbs 4:23 cautions us to, "Above all else, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life."

Wellspring of life,
Flood over
This Heart.

Sear wisdom
In this soul.
And compel me
To You.

Compel me only to you.

Please Let Your Voice Be Heard

2009-06-19T09:26:00.002-04:00

I received this email from International Justice Mission today. I'm not certain when (said) meetings would be held in our area, but I would love to organize a group to head to one. If you would like to join me, let me know. Thanks.

You can do something today to help end child trafficking.

Will you help IJM pass the Child Protection Compact Act of 2009 (HR 2737)?

IJM has expertise about what it takes to end slavery and trafficking, but the people who matter most to Members of Congress are their constituents. We need your help to urge your Members of Congress to support the Child Protection Compact Act of 2009 — groundbreaking legislation that seeks to eradicate trafficking in children in focus countries.

With your help, we will reach policymakers in all 50 states.

Here is what you can do: Commit today to attending a meeting with your Member of Congress and/or Senators in your home state/district this August and share your passion to abolish modern-day slavery.

The IJM Justice Campaigns team will schedule and coordinate these meetings for you as part of a unified month of action -- sign up online and indicate your availability.

We will guide and support you, provide you with talking points, offer trainings by phone before your meeting, and will help you connect with other advocates in your area. Take the leap and sign up today! (Please reply by July 10 — we may not be able to schedule meetings after this point.)

Schedule too full for a meeting? Urge your Member of Congress to support the Child Protection Compact Act today through the current IJM Justice Campaigns Action Alert. The CPCA holds promise for vulnerable children around the world who desperately need an ally — thank you for giving them one.

Gratefully,
Eileen Campbell
Director of Justice Campaigns

P.S. Please forward this e-mail to friends, family and colleagues who may want to attend a district meeting with you!

Flamingos!

2009-06-18T16:00:00.000-04:00

We've got 24 flamingos on the loose.

These gals are helping us get to DC for our missions trip.

They'll flock a yard of your choosing for $20.

Since this was our master plan, we weren't expecting an attack on ourselves:)
And with our minuscule yard, 24 flamingos were quite prominent. Those students!

Shoot me an email if you've got a victim in mind (and you live nearby).

Oh, and you can follow their flight patterns here.

Thanks!

Manassas Missions

2009-06-17T22:41:00.009-04:00

Some of our youth group students and leaders are heading to Manassas (outside of DC) for a missions trip July 5-July 13. They'll work alongside churches and service agencies to provide help for low-income, elderly, and special needs individuals - those who are not able to help themselves in this particular season of their lives.

We have been telling the students that they are not taking God to DC, as if He hadn't already been there. They are partnering with local organizations to see how He has been at work all along. They might find themselves on a building project, painting a home, tutoring kids, serving at a homeless shelter, or assisting at a Vacation Bible School. We're excited to see where everyone will end up!

Following the mission trip, the team will be remaining in the DC area to attend a leadership training conference. The focus of this conference will be on imitating Christ and serving and loving through Him in concrete, tangible ways.

Please pray for our team as we etch out the last minute details and continue to raise funds for this trip. Paul and I are psyched about our group - the students are phenomenal! But as always, there are roadblocks - lots of opportunities to either freak out or trust. Better choose to trust, as having a conniption never gets me anywhere.

Thanks for praying. I adore many things about God. But today I love that He is sovereign.

Much Love,
Kristin

What Matters

2009-06-17T09:34:00.003-04:00

Please click here to read a recent post I wrote for Ministry-to-Children.com. It's about dreams and the Red Sox and losing my wallet and pursuing the best in this life. I'm learning, but I'm a little slow as usual:) Enjoy!

Mission Galveston

2009-06-14T16:57:00.004-04:00

Hi guys!

Please pray for a missions team of former 4th graders, coworkers, and friends who are currently serving in Galveston, Texas. They are partnering with a church to paint, landscape, and remove debris for people who have been devastated by Hurricane Ike.

When I saw the list of individuals for this team, my mouth dropped open (and of course I got tears in my eyes). It's a great, great team of people. I am so excited to see what God will do in and through them.

Check out their website here for updates. Thanks!

I Would Still Love You

2009-06-11T14:00:00.004-04:00

Mommy, would you still love me if I pulled my shorts up too high in Party City?
Mommy, would you still love me if I pushed Mr. Adden?
Mommy, would you still love me if I needed paci for one more night?

"What if I turned into a polar bear,
and I was the meanest bear you ever saw
and I had sharp, shiny teeth
and I chased you into your tent
and you cried? [said the baby bear]

Then I would be very surprised
and very scared.
But still, inside the bear
you would be you,
and I would love you." - Barbara Joose, Mama Do You Love Me?

Selah, would I still love you?
Yes.
Because you would still be you.
And your mama is crazy bout her Selah.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-06-10T15:03:00.003-04:00

"Yes, Lord, walking in the way of your laws,

we wait for you;

your name and your renown

are the desire of our hearts."

-Isaiah 26:8

Of Lollipop Trees and Almost Three

2009-06-03T15:37:00.011-04:00

Adden shyly accepted the spotlight of his birthday shabang.

Man, do we love that smile.

His momma was proud of the train cake she made on the fly.
It wasn't perfect, but it was hers.

Thanks to all who came to celebrate.
And thanks to all who celebrate our little man all the time.

We think he's pretty amazing.
Even if he does insist he's three.

Ministering to Families in Crisis

2009-06-02T14:26:00.000-04:00

I recently wrote an article on this topic here for Ministry-to-Children.com.

Please post any additional suggestions. Thanks!

Happy Day Mr. Adden

2009-06-01T23:27:00.009-04:00

This was the first picture I tried to post

in honor of your bday, little man. Oops.

It's been a long day.

This is the right picture, one of my favorites.

And with minutes left in your special day, I just wanted to say

My eyes light up at the sight of you.
And I adore that glimmer in your eye.

Your smile makes every day exquisite.
And I am proud to call you my son.

We're going to party tomorrow.

Love you like crazy,
Mommy

30 Hour Famine

2009-05-29T11:03:00.009-04:00

The youth group is participating in a 30 Hour Famine this weekend, proceeds benefiting World Vision. They will be "starving to provide food" for others in need.

The students have raised money through donors and sponsors that will go towards projects in areas like Malawi, Swaziland, North Korea, and the States. They will be fasting to feel the pangs of hunger, felt around the world. There are 26,000 who die from hunger every day.

Included in the weekend will be basketball, volleyball, Ultimate Frisbee, a late evening message and worship, building cardboard homes to sleep outside in, morning devos, community and church work projects, a scavenger hunt, and a spaghetti dinner to break the fast.

Paul and I would like to thank Heather O. for all of the work she has done to help organize this. We love you, girl. Thanks for having a heart for God, the girls in your small group, and the world at large. Thanks for also being flexible when everything started falling through.

If you would like to donate to the famine, please let me know. If you want to host your own famine, find out more information here.

Please pray that these 30 hours will draw students closer to God, each other, and somehow to that 13 year old in the North. Thanks, guys.

FAMINE UPDATE:
Our incredible students raised $900 for the fast!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wow! Are they amazing or what? And they had a blast while doing it. I'll post some of the pics this week.

Don't ever count teenagers out.

Ever.

My New Gig

2009-05-28T15:00:00.002-04:00

For a couple months now, I've been following a site that provides practical ideas for Children's Ministry. Ministry-to-Children.com offers great lesson plans, children's church ideas, parenting articles, and encouragement for those serving children in numerous capacities.

Just recently, I was invited to serve on staff with a number of other contributors. I can't even tell you how psyched I am about this opportunity! After receiving the offer, I promptly woke the kiddos up from their naps with loud shenanigans. Oh well, that's their momma.

Working with kids, loving Jesus, and writing about it all is like the perfect combo for me. I couldn't be more thrilled, humbled, and honored. Please pray that God would utilize this ministry for His glory. And pray that all of the contributors would have the words to say to equip, empower, and encourage those investing in the next generation.

Thanks, guys! Come check out the site! The address is: http://www.ministry-to-children.com/.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-05-27T15:23:00.004-04:00

"The most wasted of all days is one without laughter."

~e.e. cummings

Remember

2009-05-25T21:28:00.003-04:00

That all freedom has a cost.
That this day is for remembering.
That military casualties in the US total 849,898 dead and counting.
That men and women have died so that we might have life.

The words thank you seem too cheap.
But they're all I know to say.

Welcome Bridget

2009-05-23T10:00:00.003-04:00

Meet the newest member of the fam.

Congratulations, John and Maureen!

Sooooooo excited for you guys.

She is simply beautiful and as Selah says, "So crazy cute!"

Impact

2009-05-21T22:30:00.000-04:00

Talk about impact.
William Wilberforce lived it.

He loved his God.
He loved his neighbor.

So much so that he fought unceasingly for his neighbor's freedom, by means of ending England's participation in the slave trade.

He often referred to himself as "being feelingly alive."
Feelingly alive to the joys of this life and the sufferings of his fellow man.

But. How?

What we see on the pages of history was birthed from a knowledge of God. Walking with Him every day, in the quiet, without anyone seeing a thing.

Not so much unlike the root system of a tree. Healthy tree, healthy roots. Beneath the soil, there's a largely invisible system absorbing water and transporting minerals. Dead tree, dead roots. Possible culprits being soil compaction (no room to breathe), competition between roots, lack of water, stress, toxins, whatever.

Gosh, me and dead roots have a lot in common.
And that stinks.

Cause I want to live a life of impact. A life that is full of life. Seen and unseen.

It is said that Wilberforce walked to and from Parliament every day, where he served in the House of Commons. On these daily commutes, he memorized the word of God. He spoke truth to himself. He listened and meditated. One of his favorite objects of meditation was Psalm 119.

Have you seen that baby? That's the big one. And he knew it by heart.

Did you know...

There are more slaves today than ever before.
Trafficking is the second largest – and fastest growing – criminal industry in the world.
Over 12 million people worldwide are trafficked for forced labor or sexual exploitation.
Over 200,000 children are at high risk for sex trafficking and commercial sexual exploitation in the United States every year.

I am crying as I am typing these words.
Cause these are children like my own. And women like me. And it can't continue.

So what can I do? I'm just a mom, a busy mom. Trying to take care of my family.

I can love my God with a foremost passion, above all other passions.
I can live an unseen life.
I can hide Psalm 119 in my heart.
And then live it out in my day.

I can enter into another's riches.
And another's poverty.
And learn from both.

I can inform myself on the injustices of this world.
And tell others.
And then do something. Just something, anything.

I can partner with organizations like
International Justice Mission
Love 146
Polaris Project
or Compassion International.

I can
Pray.
Give.
Plead with government officials.
Organize a drive.
Love and protect and defend.
Hope.
Be feelingly alive.

Remember that,
"The world is not mine to save, But I can serve the mission of the God who has already done so." Tyler Wigg Stevenson

Wordless Wednesday

2009-05-20T16:03:00.005-04:00

"Be the Change You Wish to See in the World."

-Gandhi

So Proud of You, Dan.

Prayer Requests?

2009-05-19T14:19:00.004-04:00

It's been a while since I've asked. Would love to pray for you guys.

Email them to: kristincharles@hotmail.com.

Much Love and thanks.

Enough

2009-05-15T15:08:00.007-04:00

Yesterday was a doozy.

Adden's three words in the bath kinda described the day. "Stinky. Sorry Mommy." I won't go into any other descriptions cause it's just not a picture you want to have in your head.

After putting the kids down for their naps, I walked downstairs and felt flooded with exasperation. Toys littered the house and stains three months old glared at me. There was dinner to make and a treadmill awaiting and a shower to be had.

Immediately the self-criticism poured in. Who has a house that looks like this? Why can't I have it all together? The ants are going to be parading in the kitchen soon. I need to work out. I reek. Who else smells this bad after a day? Are my kids going to grow up dysfunctional? I must drive Paul crazy. I haven't been a good friend. What is wrong with me?

And then, in the midst of my rant, while putting away the dishes in stealth mode, I heard God say, "You are enough." In the noisy recesses of my cluttered brain, I heard the faint whispers. "You are enough." "You are enough."

Over and over again, "You are enough."

And with those words, I remembered Who made me. And Whose child I am. And I remembered that I do have strengths and gifts. And that my weaknesses, my faults, and all that junk that I so desperately hide - is a chance for God to reveal Himself. For His grace is sufficient and His power is made perfect in weakness.

Sometimes I have so much striving in me. And it's an incredible motivator and it's God-given, because these passions are fueled by more fire than I could ever muster. But all that striving sees defeat more clearly. And when I measure my progress by what my eyes can immediately see, I will always fail. And I will always be less than. And I will always hear the contempt of my enemy sneering lies.

Yesterday I needed to hear the words that I was enough. And today I need to hear that I am enough. And tomorrow I will need to hear that I am enough. Cause if I am trying desperately to walk in the footsteps of my Maker -and if His honor is my intent - and if I am striving to live out His purpose for my life, than I am enough. I am enough, because He is enough.

I'm sure that ants aren't parading in your kitchen. Nor stains glaring in your face. I'm sure that your odor trumps mine, but that's disgusting. I don't know what criticisms you're hearing today and I don't know what kinda mess surrounds you. But whatever it is - however these rambles find you - may you know that you are enough. You are enough, because He is enough.

Planting A Rainbow

2009-05-14T14:39:00.005-04:00

One of my all time favorite things to do with the kids is to connect literature to life.

I adore reading quality children's literature to them and living it out
OR
just having fun with it.

Like reading

If You Give a Pig a Pancake - and whipping up syrupy pancakes
The Napping House - and taking a snooze
Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed - and getting some good air
The Doorbell Rang - and making cookies to share
The Grouchy Ladybug - and painting rocks to look like ladybugs

Today we read Planting a Rainbow, by Lois Ehlert. Selah especially adored this book; Adden, not so much. But they both loved getting dirt underneath their fingernails and planting some seeds. Adden, well, he REALLY loved the dirt. Digging it, tasting it, throwing it up in the air. The child is in desperate need of a bath. We all are, but I diverge.

To be quite honest, I have my doubts that anything will grow. I'm not even sure why I attempted planting anything, knowing that I can't keep already vibrant plants alive. But for the kids' sake, I'm praying that something - anything - will sprout up. Even if it's just a weed, they're going to be psyched. And I will think that I'm a budding horticulturalist.

If you're a parent, what are some of your kids' favorite books?
And how have you linked literature to life?
I'm always on the prowl for good ideas. Thanks!

I Love These Two

2009-05-13T14:37:00.004-04:00

Jumping just because

Our beautiful

Already a Sox fan

She makes me smile

"Say wah and Add INNNN"

Somewhat Wordless Wednesday

2009-05-06T14:59:00.003-04:00

"I just can't wait to see Uncle Danny graduate in the pool."

- Selah

Me neither. Here we come!

Talks in their Towels

2009-05-02T22:46:00.005-04:00

This was the exchange of words we had tonight following bathtime:

Me: Guys, guess who's going to be at church tomorrow?
Adden: Jesus.
Me: Wow, Adden. Yeah, Jesus better be there, you're right.
Selah: Why?
Me: Cause it wouldn't be church without Jesus.

Me: So who else will be at church?
Adden: G'and pap.
Me: Yep, Grandpap will be there.
Selah: So Jesus will be at church? Will I see His face?
Adden (head bowed suddenly, hands folded): Thank you Jesus. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Me: Wow, Adden did you just pray randomly?
Adden: Yesh.
Selah: So are we going to see Jesus' face or not?
Me: Sort of yes, sort of no. (Long strange explanation ensues as both kids lose interest.)

Me: So who we should see at church tomorrow is Miss Laura and Cousin Brian.
Selah: Ooooh oooh oooh! I love Miss Laura. I'm going to give her the biggest hug ever.
Adden: Boppie? BOPPIE! Yesh! (As he makes frantic attempts to jump off the ground.)

So Brian and Laura, moral is:

Jesus should be at church tomorrow.
As should two huge fans of yours.

Community

2009-04-30T22:25:00.003-04:00

The following is an article I submitted for consideration in a MOPS International Writing Contest. The topic was community. Since there is little to zero chance that the ditty will find its way to print, I've decided to post it here. At least this way, my MOPS peeps will see the huge significance of the little things they did for us when I was down for the count.

So once again, girls, thank you. You mean the world to me.

Much Love,
Kristin

As with any tragic event, you remember it like it was yesterday. Where you were, what you were doing, who you were with. For me, I had just crawled under my comforter. It had been a busy day chasing kids, training for a 5K, and organizing the basement. My husband and I had stayed up late to watch the Olympic Women’s Gymnastics team compete. And I was beat. I think it was 1:10 in the morning.

As my head rested against the pillow, waves of pain engulfed me. Something was wrong, very wrong. I sat up and laid back down, groaning and writhing in horror. My head started spinning, my vision blurred, and my feet crumbled under me. The pain was paralyzing. “I think it’s the baby, “I cried. “I need to get the hospital.”

Hours later, following IV’s, blood tests, and ultrasounds, our worst fears were confirmed. We had lost our baby. By medical definition, it was an ectopic pregnancy rupture: excessive blood loss, major surgery, and extensive recovery. My surgeon told me it would take a year to feel normal again, but I should be thankful to be alive.

To add to the physical challenges, the heartbreak of losing a child loomed over me. Sure, we had two healthy children already. Sure, the baby was just 7 weeks old. Sure, the pregnancy was unexpected. But it was still our child, my child. On one hand I grieved the loss of a life. On the other hand, I felt shame for all those tears shed when others have had it so much worse.

The story of this loss would have ended there, had it not been for a community who rallied around us. Our families supported us, our church encouraged us, and our friends loved on us to the umpteenth degree. One such group of friends was my MOPS group at the North Way Christian Community.

Hours after the emergency surgery, emails flooded my inbox, prayers supported us, and blog comments encouraged me. A team of moms pitched in to supply meals. Not for one week, not for two, but for weeks on end, until I was able to cook for my family again.

Not only that, but they went grocery shopping for us, they cleaned our home, they stuffed our mailbox with cards of encouragement, and they watched my kids so that I could nap. DVD’s were purchased to relieve the boredom of bed rest, as were bouquets of balloons, flowers, books, magazines, and coffee to make me feel normal again.

But the practical needs were not the only needs addressed. These women allowed me grieving room; time to talk and process the whirlwind of emotions. They didn’t criticize my tears or tell me to just get over it. I have never been more vulnerable. But in this low place, I found strength that I didn’t know I had, because I wasn’t alone.

Many of the women shared their own stories with me: stories of life and loss, despair and hope, and a God who never left them all the while. It was almost as if my vulnerability ushered in theirs. And the end result? Well, that’s still in the works.

When I walked into my MOPS meeting this past Wednesday morning, I greeted friends. There was Kathleen and Kristin and Nancy and Michelle. There were layers of conversations overlapping each other. About marathon training and how cute that scarf looks on you and the next step of the adoption process.

We spoke about food additives and separation anxiety and the dinner that completely bombed. We laughed about our appearance when we leave the house most days – Cheerios glued to our shoulders, wiped noses on our jeans, and stickers affixed to our rears. We also got choked up when we heard the news that caused another mom's tears. Cause what’s important to her is important to us.

I’ve heard it said that a community is a group of people who often share an environment, as well as common interests, goals, and needs. As moms, our goals range from potty training to healthy (and edible) meal preparation to raising responsible children. We understand sleep deprivation and the need for time alone with our spouse. We desire to fulfill our own purpose in this life, as we support our children to find theirs.

But a healthy community is more than just sharing commonalities. It’s knowing and being known. It’s finding practical ways to meet needs, whether those needs are verbalized or not. It’s becoming vulnerable and risking the loss of a perfect illusion. It’s telling our stories and hearing the stories of others. It’s finding strength in weakness and hope in despair. It’s championing those around you and celebrating what makes them smile.

I am honored to be a part of the MOPS organization, particularly the community at North Way. The story of our loss is one we’ll continue to tell. Not because of the loss in particular, but because of the gain. We gained community. It’s a story that hasn’t been completed yet. Because moms gave of themselves, we will give of ourselves. We will love because we have been loved. And then there will be another story told. And another and another.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-04-29T16:24:00.002-04:00

There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child.

There are seven million.

~Walt Streightiff

2009 India Bloggers

2009-04-28T13:18:00.006-04:00

From April 26th to May 2nd, five bloggers will witness firsthand the ministry of Compassion International to the poor of East India. Visit this page to hear the stories, see pictures, and watch videos from Kolkata. I have followed bloggers like these on previous trips and the stories have been incredible.

Ranking high on my dream list is to visit our children one day, especially Ruth. I want to give her a hug and hear her stories and tell her that she is beautiful. One day, we'll step foot into Bolivia and we'll get to do just this. One day we'll learn more about a breathtaking God from His daughter on the other side of the world. One day.

Also pencilled in on the dream list is to go on one of these blogging trips. God, children, writing, justice, travel, stories, love, and hope all tangled up. Not sure what could top that. Someday when the kids are older. And, well, if I get chosen. That's sorta required.

For more information about Compassion International or to sponsor a child visit Compassion.com.

Only 8

2009-04-20T07:31:00.002-04:00

My friend Leah at leahhogsed.blogspot.com tagged me to complete these lists of "Only 8." So here goes:

8 Things I am Looking Forward to:

1. Running in a 5 K
2. Seeing my family for my brother’s graduation
3. Playing outside this spring/summer with the kids
4. My next date with Paul
5. Arrival of babies in our family
6. Painting our main floor
7. Living on less
8. Seeing God work in the lives of our students

8 Things I Did Yesterday:

1. Taught for Children's Church
2. Made coffee
3. Took my weekly nap
4. Had a night out with Paul
5. Went to youth group
6. Talked, listened
7. Kissed our kids
8. Ate a yummy lunch with family (Angie, you're one of us)

8 Things I Wish I Could Do:

1. Adopt
2. Visit my brother in France next year
3. Go white water rafting this summer in Ohiopyle (anyone?)
4. Get published
5. Work on my masters
6. Be more organized
7. Be more present
8. Get out of debt

8 Shows I Enjoy:

1. Lost
2. Red Sox Baseball
3. College Basketball
4. The Today Show
5. Mr. Rogers
6. The Office
7. Jeopardy
8. How to Boil Water

8 People I Tag:

1. Ashley at jonashleyandkayden.blogspot.com
2. Brandy at chosenandadoptedchildofaking.blogspot.com
3. Abby at abby-peffer.blogspot.com
4. Emily at strobelshappenings.blogspot.com
5. Emily at flattspace.blogspot.com
6. Ashley at alwaysrememberthemoments.blogspot.com
7. Angie at livelaughlovelots.blogspot.com
8. Kim at insidemyhead-kimosabescraps.blogspot.com

Thanks, Leah. And let me know if any of you guys complete this! Love ya'll!

Little Monkey

2009-04-18T23:04:00.006-04:00

I am not a fan of heights. Or falling. And I have toothpicks for arms.

Which means that I am the perfect candidate for rock climbing.

But I figured I’d give climbing a second chance on Friday night at Climb North. Laurie and Chris were great teachers and never even laughed at me, though they really should have. Laurie is mega-pro Climbing Woman, who gets there and nonchalantly starts sprinting up the wall. And Chris is Spiderman, with some kinda insane wing-span. We kept finding him on the ceiling or in some random crevice hanging upside down.

And then there’s me, who started freaking a foot off the ground. But Laurie told me that I didn’t even have to climb high, I could just climb across, which was fabulous news. So I gingerly inched sideways the whole night, finding my confidence on tiny footholds and trying to make my toothpicks work for me.

By the end, I was bouldering across corners and attempting to hang upside down. The picture at the top of the post is pure illusion though. Don't be fooled. To my credit, Laurie did give me the greatest compliment of the night, calling me “a little monkey,” to my beaming delight. To receive such accolades from Climbing Woman was worth every little armpit strain. (Are there muscles in your armpits anyway?)

So I’ll definitely go back and maybe even belay next time. We’re hoping to get a group together on occasional Friday nights (only $10 for a few hrs) and I’m hoping to get Paul to come. Paul wasn’t about to leave the Pens game for climbing, but he did graciously volunteer to watch the kiddos so that I could be there. Now that was sacrifice. What a sweetheart. It’s a good thing Pens won.

This is Climbing Woman.

This is Spidey.

What I Learned From 40 Days

2009-04-16T15:02:00.003-04:00

So my coffee (and drink) fast has ended. Whoohooooooooo! And I'm still tickin' to boot! I truly envisioned this being the end of me. Coffee is like my deal, my total deal. But I did it and here is what I learned:

1. Coffee is my evil little crutch. I drink coffee when I'm tired, stressed, unnerved, excited, you name it. I can find any and all excuses to have a cup. It makes me deliriously happy. I used to think that I NEEDED it. Now, it is no longer my necessity. It is my luxury. Without the caffeine fix, I was forced to rely on God. I ended up praying like crazy. I praised more. I got frustrated less. God trumps a cup of joe any day.

2. The value of a dollar. Since I value coffee and how it gives me insane amounts of energy, I justify its cost all over the place. Just a $1.64 here. Just $6.73/lb there. I estimated that I saved $61.20 in 40 days from the fast altogether (including teas, milk, juice.) That's a lot of money chuggin' down my tubes. Now that's $61.20 to provide clean water around the world.

3. Fasting is not to be a public thing (Matthew 6:16-18). I hope you know that I wouldn't have gone public with this had I not been spotlighting the cause of Blood Water Mission. It is a private thing between God and an individual for the purpose of growing closer to Jesus. Any attention drawn to myself makes the fast for naught. The point is to take our eyes off of ourselves (our comforts, our world, etc.) and look straight into the eyes of Christ.

4. God came near. Gosh, did He love on me. His Word kept leaping off the page like it never had before. In quietness and submission, He spoke. I heard his voice in my heart, telling me to do all sorts of strange things. Write this person. Go pick up that elderly man on the side of the road. Read what I have to say about Justice Praise. Pursue this dream. Bury this sin.

5. The 40 days never ends. Fasting is not just a one time deal. It's living out humility, denial, and sacrifice to serve others. Isaiah 58 says that fasting loosens chains of injustice, sets the oppressed free, breaks yokes of slavery, provides for the poor, feeds the hungry, clothes the naked. Fasting is not turning your back on your own flesh and blood. There is power in a fast that I can't even begin to understand.

6. God cracks me up. A day after committing to the fast, Einstein Brothers' Bagels sent out a coupon for free coffees every Friday. Two days after, I received a belated birthday card from a dear friend in Korea. In it? A Starbucks card. Three days after, my sister in law told me she had also gotten me a coffee related gift for my birthday. Come on now, really? I was like bombarded with free coffees left and right. Not to mention our son kept chanting, "Sah buck Sah buck" every time we drove on by.

So, the 40 days ended with a bang on Easter morning. And I savored every bit of my tall Starbucks regula with extra cream and extra sugar (to the applause of our kids in the backseat.) The fast wasn't easy, but it was worth it. It was worth it to know that Jesus really can come near, to even me, without a coffee cup in my hand.

Feathers, Friends, and Maggots

2009-03-31T22:31:00.009-04:00

I woke up at 7 too giddy to pull the covers back over my head. I'm almost embarrassed to say why. Cause I was psyched, like a kid waiting for Christmas, to see birds. Yep, egg-laying vertebrates with wings and beaks:)

The kids and I trekked to the Aviary today. And it was fabulous! We listened to stories, created pieces of art, and fed a 12-toed chicken out of our palms. We went nose to beak with Elvis the penguin, soaked up random bird factage (Rainbow Lorikeets always travel in pairs...hmmm...good principle?), and fed small birds large rocks (well, that was Adden. I caught the little man before we had a tragic bird homicide.)

But the highlight of the day had to have been the maggots. Well, that coupled with Selah's courage. My shy daughter volunteered of her own accord to feed birds in front of a large audience. This entailed me holding Selah as still as I could, squirmy maggots in our palms, and swooping birds flying in out of nowhere. One winged chap even chose to perch on her hand for a couple of minutes. I think I was probably beaming.

Anyway, if you're local and you've got little tykes, head to the Aviary! The building has some kinda weird configuration going on, you'll need to camp out with a bagged lunch somewhere (they don't have seating for that sort of thing), and it's a bit pricey. (I would suggest scouting around for a coupon. We saved $8.50 that way:)

Besides birds, our day ended with a great dinner and conversation with some new friends (new for me, old for Paul) who happened to be visiting from out of town. We indulged in Primanti's and walked around Ikea (without spending a dime - even better.) Our kids adored theirs so much that a pink bear was just recently named Lexi.

Incredible day, feathers and all.

Shame

2009-03-27T14:55:00.003-04:00

Shame takes on many forms, doesn't it?

That memory you just can't shake
The silent addiction
A vacant left ring finger
Ugly words
Stolen purity
Debt piled high

For me, shame was written all over my body.

Ever since I can remember, I've ignored warnings about the sun. I grew up going to the beach every weekend that I could - to read, surf the waves, and soak up the warmth. I life guarded and taught swimming lessons outside for years on end. I tanned to get ready for prom, just like any other high school senior.

And for me it was more than getting a tan. I hated who I was without one. I could barely stand to look in the mirror. In the winter, I was one of those tan out of a cream bottle kinda people. You know, the rusty orange type. And then there were bronzers. I used them too and they were nasty. My face was a summer tan, my neck was a winter white, with a distinct line marking off the seasons. Yuck.

At 34, I'm paying for it all. Biopsies every 6 months, stage 2 melanoma, and umpteen moles lobbed off. I always go in for routine checkups and they find just one more problem spot. Next week I go in for another excision of a precancerous area on my arm. It's a "hotspot for Melanoma," as my dermatologist says. Lovely.

Anyway, I used to get all worked up over all this. Worried that I'm harboring cancer somewhere in my skin, worried that I wouldn't see my children grow up, worried for my parents' sake, worried that I wouldn't get to grow old with my best friend.

I can't lie and say these are never concerns anymore, but they certainly aren't keeping me awake at night. The more I know of God, the more I know that He is good, and the more I am learning to accept His goodness - in whatever form He chooses to reveal it.

It's not ironic to me that I was reading Psalm 73 when my dermatologist called last week. Verse 26 reads, "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

"My flesh may fail, " and that it has. "But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

While I was processing the latest results, a fleeting thought almost found residence in my soul. "Your skin tells a story of your shame." The words were ugly and heartless and cruel. Immediately my eyes welled with tears. Sure there's shame in that I hated myself and I was desperate for the approval of others and I didn't know my worth in God. Sure there's shame in the addiction to outward appearance and the blind acceptance of our culture's obsession.

But that's not the story that's read here. No sooner did I hear words that cut and condemned, I heard another take on those scars. In a quiet voice, God said, "Your skin tells a story of your Savior."

My scars may have spoken of shame, but not anymore. Now they tell a story of redemption. Of God creating a new life within me that no longer seeks its own. Of God restoring beauty to a girl who couldn't stand to see her reflection. Of God healing wounds that were far deeper than what the eye could see.

Shame only serves to perpetrate and oppress and annihilate. But Jesus came that we may have life and live that life to the fullest expression.

My scars now tell a story of Jesus. And His is a story worth telling again and again.

Awakening

2009-03-26T15:06:00.006-04:00

Found this poem the other day and fell in love.

i will not die an unlived life.
i will not live in fear
of falling or catching fire.
i choose to inhabit my days,
to allow my living to open me,
to make me less afraid,
more accessible,
to loosen my heart
until it becomes a wing,
a torch, a promise.
i choose to risk my significance,
to live so that which came to me as seed
goes to the next as blossom,
and that which came to me as blossom
goes on as fruit.

~ by dawna markova

Mark Your Calendar

2009-03-22T21:48:00.002-04:00

If you're in the area this week, check out a sweet consignment sale in Butler. Lots of good stuff cheap.

If you come to shop, please bring a non-perishable food item to be donated to a local food closet.

Thanks!

March Madness

2009-03-20T14:44:00.004-04:00

Who have you got winning it all?

I've got UNC, but my brackets have sure taken a hit already.

Not a good sign. I hate losing anything.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-03-18T15:08:00.001-04:00

My life is a listening, His is a speaking.
My salvation is to hear and respond.
-Thomas Merton

All Things New

2009-03-17T15:08:00.005-04:00

Like any Momma, I am crazy about my kiddos. For tons of reasons, but one being that they make me slow down. They help me to see things with their eyes, on their level. And with them, ordinary life is touched with wonder.

Today we saw:

A bird busy stuffing too much brush in her puny little beak.
Perennials poking their heads up through the mushy ground.
Pink buds in mid-sprout coloring the trees.
A dog flying through the air to retrieve a ball. (To which Adden responded with much applause.)

The sun blanketed us with warmth and the coats got ditched real quick. We tricycled and ran and sang and slid in the mud. Adden's giddy laugh was contagious, as were Selah's new discoveries of the world in our own backyard. After a long, drab winter, spring is sure welcome round these parts. Not only welcome, but necessary.

Necessary cause I need to see God making all things new again. The visual of spring is dynamic. It's necessary to know that He creates and He reconciles. He forms beauty again out of the dirt. He takes a skeleton of a tree and colors it with life one more time. "The old has gone, the new has come." The dead has gone, the life has come.

It's necessary for me to know that I can be made new. Old habits can change. Patterns of wrong can be made right. Tucked away dreams can be pursued, with the vigor of that dog today retrieving a tennis ball - tail waggin' delight, sprinting after one target, breathless with anticipation for what lies ahead.

Spring is just around the corner on our calendar. But in Christ, there is always the promise of spring no matter what day of the year; there is hope of new life, yet again.

Living With No Applause

2009-03-13T14:12:00.006-04:00

Love this quote by Henri Nouwen:

"Perhaps we must continually remind ourselves that the first commandment requiring us to love God with all our heart, all our soul, and all our mind is indeed the first. I wonder if we really believe this. It seems that in fact we live as if we should give as much of our heart, soul, and mind as possible to our fellow human beings, while trying not to forget God. At least we feel that our attention should be divided evenly between God and our neighbor.

But Jesus’ claim is much more radical. He asks for a single-minded commitment to God and God alone. God wants all of our heart, all of our mind, and all of our soul. It is this unconditional and unreserved love for God that leads to the care of our neighbor, not as an activity that distracts us from God or competes with our attention to God, but as an expression of our love for God… We might even say that only in God does our neighbor become a neighbor rather than an infringement upon our autonomy, and that only in and through God does service become possible."

The jammin thing is that Henri's life speaks these words. Once a theologian and professor at a prestigious university, Henri gave up honor and accolades to take care of mentally disabled people in a home. He read them stories, bathed them, cut up their food, repositioned them in their chairs, folded their laundry, held their hands, and helped them in the bathroom. These individuals wouldn't have known they were being served. They may have not even said thank you.

I wonder if the humility of serving kneeled him closer to Jesus. Often I think my vision of service is too limited, too narrow. It's dishing out lasagna at the homeless shelter, it's teaching a lesson for children's church, it's listening to that girl crying on the other side of the phone line. It's what other people can see.

Sometimes I forget that serving God is also scrubbing my bathtub, working my tail off at my job when no one is there, and praying on my couch. It's putting a Tinkerbell band aid on a scratch, it's clipping coupons and cooking dinner, it's getting stuck in a slide with my kids. It's folding endless laundry (and wow do I appreciate my mom more after having kids!), it's remembering a birthday, it's holding a hand. It's what other people can't always see.

God never marks off our serving to designate what is service and what is not. If I am living in God and for God and through God, then I will live to serve Him, whatever that means. In God, the most mundane tasks and the ordinary routines can carry a weight of significance. No one else may see what we've done. There won't be applause or recognition or even a thank you, but there is still an audience of a breathtaking God, who has been worshipped because we have loved.

One Hot Mama

2009-03-13T00:08:00.007-04:00

Selah: Mommy, are you almost 65 yet?

Me: What? Almost, I guess. But Selah, Mommy is stunning for
almost 65.

Global Food Crisis

2009-03-11T15:21:00.012-04:00

One person in seven goes to bed hungry every day.

One third of the world's population is malnourished.

There are 25,000 starvation - related deaths every day.

And I complained about the price of cheese Sunday.

Perspective is a powerful thing.

What we can do:

1. Pray. Join Compassion's Prayer Partner's Network.

2. Donate here.

3. Get your church involved.

4. Blog, facebook, talk to spread the word.

5. Become a Compassion advocate.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-03-11T15:05:00.004-04:00

For everything there is a season,

And a time for every matter under heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die;

A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;

A time to kill, and a time to heal;

A time to break down, and a time to build up;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh;

A time to mourn, and a time to dance;

A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;

A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to seek, and a time to lose;

A time to keep, and a time to throw away;

A time to tear, and a time to sew;

A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

A time to love, and a time to hate,

A time for war, and a time for peace.

-Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Honkin Bag of Potatoes

2009-03-09T07:15:00.001-04:00

Great picture of our Compassion child Ruth (2nd from right) and her family, after receiving our youth group's gift. Everything in the picture was provided with the money (including sneakers, bookshelf, honkin bags of potatoes and rice, etc.) Thanks, Michele, for scanning this for me:) And thanks, PBC students, for your continual support of Compassion. You guys CAN change this world. And maybe, you already are. Love you.

Dia De Luz

2009-03-06T20:53:00.004-05:00

This is Braddigan's Dia De Luz (Day of Light) that they celebrated in Managua. I love, love, love the message of hope here.

Meet Braddigan

2009-03-05T07:30:00.003-05:00

He's gone from main stage to garbage dump. And in his words, he's better for it.

Braddigan is a nickname for Brad Corrigan, the lead singer of the band, self-titled. Brad sang with the indie band Dispatch until their 2002 disbanding. For Dispatch's farewell concert in Boston, between 10,000 and 30,000 were expected. The estimated attendance ended up being 110,000 - the largest concert in independent music history.

To meet Brad, you would think that he would have the rock star vibe going on. Instead, he was one of the most humble, wise, and deeply committed followers of Christ that Paul and I have ever been around. So much of what he said was straight scripture, like he lived and breathed the word of God.

I'm sure the humility comes from walking with God. But I think much was also born in the trash dumps of Managua, Nicaragua, where Brad spends half of his time. To hear him speak of Managua, you would think that he was talking about his home - a forsaken dump, filled with ever burning fires, garbage, rotting carcasses, and hundreds who have lived and died there. To hear him speak of the people, you would think he was talking about his own grandma, children, dad. Some would consider these individuals a project. He regards them as family.

Love Light and Melody, a non-profit organization founded by Brad, was created to battle the physical, emotional, educational, and spiritual affects of extreme poverty in this trash dump. Love Light and Melody is built on a simple concept: "When you walk with someone you're saying to them, 'I am with you.'"

I love that premise, "I am with you," cause I've heard those words before. Jesus hasn't left us alone in this place. He walks with us - in our strength and in our weakness - in the beauty of our lives and in the trash that we find ourselves in.

As Jesus is preparing his disciples for his death, He says, "Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live....I am in the Father, and you are in me, and I am in you." (John 14:19-20)

The world can't see Him, but His followers can. The world can't see Him, so we've got to live His life. How do we make God real and apparent and visible? I'm still trying to figure out what that means for me, with long term goals and in this hour. But I sure know that Braddigan is making Christ tangible - through handshakes and flying kites with kids and song - in a place that can no longer be deemed as God-forsaken.

God was living in Managua all along. But the people couldn't see Him. Now, even through the smog, He's a little more visible. Now they just might be able to hear those words, "I am with you."