I Am Not One For Flinging

An excerpt from Crime and Punishment (don't let that deter you)...

where Petrovitch (the constable) convinces Romanovitch (a Russian student guilty of murder) to confess his guilt, so that there can be redemption...

"I know you don't believe in it, " Petrovich said, "but... fling yourself straight into life, without deliberation; don't be afraid - the flood will bear you to the bank and set you safe on your feet again. What bank? How can I tell? I only believe that you have long life before you."

So I am not really one for flinging.
I am a slow, measured list-maker, you know, the boring kind.
I like to know what I'm doing, where I'm going, and how I will get there.

But Jesus, well, He doesn't have to tell me those things.
He just says to trust and fling (or something of the sort.)

I so want my questions, DOUBTS, fears, strivings...
All I'm grasping onto so tightly for security, safety, comfort...

To be launched at the feet of my Love.
This is Life. To live in trust.
And with the abandonment and joy that my children know best.

I guess what I'm saying is that I want to be a finger rocket.

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