Drawing Our S

Dear Selah,

You were tracing an S last week when you crumpled to the floor in sobs. You just couldn't get the curve to go your way, so you vowed to never draw an S again. With a name like Selah, that's going to be difficult, babe.

You wear genes of perfectionism like your mom (and dad). The bad news is that you're doomed. The good news is that you can get over it. Nothing will ever be perfect, no matter how hard you try. But you keep trying anyway.

Your momma, at 34, is just beginning to figure this out. I've got a history of drawing my S with funky curves. But I've got a longer history of not even trying. And that's far worse than one bad S.

Like when I...

Skipped swimteam tryouts because I didn't have the fastest crawl.
Refused to give Festival Ballet a shot after getting cut the first time.
Chose education over journalism, even though all I've ever wanted to do was write.

Not trying for fear of failure really stinks. It'll prevent you from being who God has created you to be. His perfect design for you may be thwarted by your own fear. Don't let it get the best of you.

Little by little, your momma is learning to try. And fail (sometimes miserably). And keep trying.

I never swam on the team, but I became a lifeguard.
I never danced for Festival, but I got to choreograph in college.
I never got my journalism degree, but I'm finally starting to write.

A few months ago, I entered my first writing contest. I wrote my best piece, but it wasn't good enough. Someone else won last week and they deserved it. It's a great read. Check it out here.

At first I thought I would be crushed. Crumpling up into a ball sounded spectacular. No doubt I was disappointed. I really, really wanted to win. But I didn't and that's okay because I tried.

Better yet, I'll try again. And so, I pray, will you.

One of these days, your "S" will look just right. And maybe by then, mine will too. Maybe we've both got a pen to pick up. And some pride to get over.

Love you like crazy,


Ashley said...

I can definitely relate to this letter because Adelle wants to do everything and gets frustrated when she can't...thanks for sharing the moment because it made me feel better and I'm sure Selah will appreciate it someday. You're not perfect, but you're the perfect mom for your kids.

Emily said...

Loved this. It's so true! We are all like that in our own ways. My son, Ryan is definitely the one that doesn't like to try and fail. I have to encourage him that it's best to try and fail and then try again! :) Thanks for that story! I'm also tagging you in my blog. http://www.strobelshappenings.blogspot.com/

Kristin Charles said...

Thanks for reading, girls. I'm glad I'm not alone on this:) Love ya both.


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