I'm a girl who doesn't cry often, but when I do it's anything but pretty.
Deep red splotches creep up to hide my pale complexion as ivy covers a wall. And I don't cry in a one tear trickle kind of way, but in torrents of a hyperventilating disaster.
Most often, I cry about stupid stuff. Like another dinner disaster. Something so small gets added to the top of a teetering tower and I lose it. The tower crumbles.
Yesterday's tears had more substance than a burned casserole, though they certainly caught me off guard. I sat in a chair with a coffee and Bible - my favorite time of day. All settled in and quiet, I expected a nice feel good devotions. Spend time with God, then carry on with my happy little afternoon as usual.
I think yesterday Jesus wanted more.
The burden on my heart for a little girl whom I didn't even know was so strong that I felt I could barely breathe. She is a girl who is as sweet as my own. A girl who wants so desperately to be found, valued, and treasured. A girl who has been a victim of indescribable abuses. A girl, esteemed by her Creator, even in the prison of someone else's indiscretions.
I tried to read the Bible, but all I could do was pray and cry. Maybe spending time with God isn't always about getting the good vibes. Maybe it's allowing His heart to filter into this very selfish heart of my own. I so need God's vision, because mine can be so taken up by the next best thing. Forgive me, Jesus.
Forgive me for not taking the time to fight for your children. To pray for them. To be persistent in letting their voice be heard.
It had been 2 months since my last contact with Congressman Altmire. He still hasn't decided to co-sponsor the Child Protection Compact yet. Paul had been faithfully at me for contacting him again, even though I had given up.
So I bit the bullet and dialed his Washington office yesterday. Nothing new to report, but his international affairs staffer and I had a good talk and another contact was made.
After our call, Ecclesiastes 5:8 found me at random. "If you see the poor oppressed in a district, and justice and rights denied, do not be surprised at such things; for one official is eyed by a higher one, and over them both are others higher still. The increase from the land is taken by all; the king himself profits from the fields."
This verse gave me the creeps. The trafficking of children is a rich business. The third largest in our world. Many are making money off of this girl. Her poverty is another's riches.
Who knows what Altmire will decide. There are a total of 82 co-sponsors now. That seems pretty good for a bill to me. What I do know is that this girl's fate does not lie in my hands, nor in any government official's hands. Her life is held in the firm grasp of God. A God who is good and just. Who offers hope from hearts of despair and beauty from the face of evil.
I cried a lot yesterday. But those tears were good. Cleansing. Repentant. Valued. And in the unsightly sobbing, the Holy Spirit's presence in me was undeniable. Word after word came out of a source deeper than my shallow one. Peace for me. And a blessing of peace for this young girl.
"Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you, He rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for Him." Isaiah 30:18
"Strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way; say to those with fearful hearts, 'Be strong, do not fear; your God will come, He will come with vengeance; He will come to save you..." Isaiah 35: 3-4
"A bruised reed He will not break, and a smoldering wick He will not snuff out. In faithfulness, he will bring forth justice." Isaiah 42:3
"If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. This is to my Father's glory..." John 15: 7
My wish is for her rescue.
Arms of compassion.
This is to my Father's glory.