A Letter To My Son

Adden-

What's up, little guy? I've decided to write you a letter for your first birthday. Here's to hoping I make this a tradition, but we'll see how that goes.

A year has flown by already. Wow. It really just seems like you just popped out and we sat on the words, "It's a boy." If you check out your newborn pics, I am bawling - I couldn't have been more thrilled. Your dad was just as happy. Selah, too. At one glance, you stole our hearts.

We've fallen in love with a guy who has personality, boundless energy, sensitivity, curiosity, and a crazy glimmer in his eye. You are either screaming yourself purple or laughing your head off. You are either catapulting yourself into the bathtub, sprinkling yourself with the toilet wand, or scaling Selah's wall.

You adore listening to music and bee bopping that head of yours. Oh, and you bee bop two thirds of a way through a meal also, when your belly tells you it's getting full. You love throwing and catching balls, following your big sister around, getting flung in the air, hanging upside down, reading book after book (The Foot Book is your favorite), and waiting for daddy to get home. You would spend all day banging the door for him if I let you.

Of course, there are apologies to be made. I've complained way too much about my sleep deprivation, headaches, and eye twitches with you. (But way to go, little buddy, you figured sleeping out at 11 months!) I've also missed out on scrapbooking your first year, writing all those special facts and figures down, and grabbing my camera for every face you make.

But, in your favor was the time we got to spend together. I held you more, I sang to you more. It's not that I didn't enjoy that with Selah. It's just that having my first child really walloped me. I was so not prepared. At least with you, I knew what to expect and I was geared up. We didn't get any sleep - you and I - but we sure did hang out a ton and I loved it.

Mr. Adden - You have helped me to enjoy the now - more than I ever have. Thanks for pausing my days. I never get anything completed on my to-do lists anymore. The house is always out of whack somewhere. But the more important parts of my life are in whack. And that's a good thing. In this pause, I have found myself laughing more, living more, and loving more.

You make me smile.
Love always,
Mommy