Yesterday was a doozy.
Adden's three words in the bath kinda described the day. "Stinky. Sorry Mommy." I won't go into any other descriptions cause it's just not a picture you want to have in your head.
After putting the kids down for their naps, I walked downstairs and felt flooded with exasperation. Toys littered the house and stains three months old glared at me. There was dinner to make and a treadmill awaiting and a shower to be had.
Immediately the self-criticism poured in. Who has a house that looks like this? Why can't I have it all together? The ants are going to be parading in the kitchen soon. I need to work out. I reek. Who else smells this bad after a day? Are my kids going to grow up dysfunctional? I must drive Paul crazy. I haven't been a good friend. What is wrong with me?
And then, in the midst of my rant, while putting away the dishes in stealth mode, I heard God say, "You are enough." In the noisy recesses of my cluttered brain, I heard the faint whispers. "You are enough." "You are enough."
Over and over again, "You are enough."
And with those words, I remembered Who made me. And Whose child I am. And I remembered that I do have strengths and gifts. And that my weaknesses, my faults, and all that junk that I so desperately hide - is a chance for God to reveal Himself. For His grace is sufficient and His power is made perfect in weakness.
Sometimes I have so much striving in me. And it's an incredible motivator and it's God-given, because these passions are fueled by more fire than I could ever muster. But all that striving sees defeat more clearly. And when I measure my progress by what my eyes can immediately see, I will always fail. And I will always be less than. And I will always hear the contempt of my enemy sneering lies.
Yesterday I needed to hear the words that I was enough. And today I need to hear that I am enough. And tomorrow I will need to hear that I am enough. Cause if I am trying desperately to walk in the footsteps of my Maker -and if His honor is my intent - and if I am striving to live out His purpose for my life, than I am enough. I am enough, because He is enough.
I'm sure that ants aren't parading in your kitchen. Nor stains glaring in your face. I'm sure that your odor trumps mine, but that's disgusting. I don't know what criticisms you're hearing today and I don't know what kinda mess surrounds you. But whatever it is - however these rambles find you - may you know that you are enough. You are enough, because He is enough.