5/15/09

Enough

Yesterday was a doozy.

Adden's three words in the bath kinda described the day. "Stinky. Sorry Mommy." I won't go into any other descriptions cause it's just not a picture you want to have in your head.

After putting the kids down for their naps, I walked downstairs and felt flooded with exasperation. Toys littered the house and stains three months old glared at me. There was dinner to make and a treadmill awaiting and a shower to be had.

Immediately the self-criticism poured in. Who has a house that looks like this? Why can't I have it all together? The ants are going to be parading in the kitchen soon. I need to work out. I reek. Who else smells this bad after a day? Are my kids going to grow up dysfunctional? I must drive Paul crazy. I haven't been a good friend. What is wrong with me?

And then, in the midst of my rant, while putting away the dishes in stealth mode, I heard God say, "You are enough." In the noisy recesses of my cluttered brain, I heard the faint whispers. "You are enough." "You are enough."

Over and over again, "You are enough."

And with those words, I remembered Who made me. And Whose child I am. And I remembered that I do have strengths and gifts. And that my weaknesses, my faults, and all that junk that I so desperately hide - is a chance for God to reveal Himself. For His grace is sufficient and His power is made perfect in weakness.

Sometimes I have so much striving in me. And it's an incredible motivator and it's God-given, because these passions are fueled by more fire than I could ever muster. But all that striving sees defeat more clearly. And when I measure my progress by what my eyes can immediately see, I will always fail. And I will always be less than. And I will always hear the contempt of my enemy sneering lies.

Yesterday I needed to hear the words that I was enough. And today I need to hear that I am enough. And tomorrow I will need to hear that I am enough. Cause if I am trying desperately to walk in the footsteps of my Maker -and if His honor is my intent - and if I am striving to live out His purpose for my life, than I am enough. I am enough, because He is enough.

I'm sure that ants aren't parading in your kitchen. Nor stains glaring in your face. I'm sure that your odor trumps mine, but that's disgusting. I don't know what criticisms you're hearing today and I don't know what kinda mess surrounds you. But whatever it is - however these rambles find you - may you know that you are enough. You are enough, because He is enough.

6 comments:

Emily said...

This is something I've been struggling with a lot lately. Thanks for sharing your struggles and your openness to God and how you learn from these times!

Anonymous said...

"I'm sure that your odor trumps mine, but that's disgusting. "

uh... thanks?

Abby said...

Wow. With 13 days of school left, these words are so needed. I feel like my kids haven't learned enough, I haven't done well, and there are a bazillion grades to enter and papers to grade. I REALLY think that teachers are more ready for summer than the kids are.

BRING ON SUMMER!!!

Leah said...

Great post. Encouraging. :)

Kristin Charles said...

glad to hear that i'm not the only one who struggles with this. thanks, girls, for being honest yourselves:)

Kristin said...

Thanks for such a great message! I totally needed to read that today! Just a word of encouragment to you...I'm convinced that it's SOOO much harder to keep a small house clean because there aren't places to put everything. We look at our front room all the time and ask ourselves..."who lives like this?...this is embarassing". You do what you can do and in the end..it is enough! Hang in there Kristin!

 

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