So I’m medicating my mouth at work when I notice that my tongue is black. Like really all black.
And I freak.
Is it going to make it? Is it going to fall out?
I sprint to the office and google black tongue. Second result: “black hairy tongue.”
No. Black is bad. Hairy is unmentionable. You have got to be kidding me.
My tongue is going to sprout hair?
I eat like a rabbit. I actually floss. I try to work out. I am weird about germs. How does such an individual grow a hairy black tongue?
So I read lots of unreliable sources.
And I determine that my tongue will pull through this time.
My homemade remedy for the ulcers (as advised by the Doc) is the culprit.
Maalox + Children’s Benadryl = Black tongue (It's the anti-acid's fault.)
I even did a scientific test. No remedy, cute rosy tongue color. A day of remedy, black tongue. By the way, there was no actual hair sproutage - just an appearance as such. I know - it's unmentionably repulsive, but I can't stop laughing about it. It cracks me up.
So there you have it. Now you'll know.
Do freakish things happen to anyone else? Please tell me they do.