What Matters

Please click here to read a recent post I wrote for Ministry-to-Children.com. It's about dreams and the Red Sox and losing my wallet and pursuing the best in this life. I'm learning, but I'm a little slow as usual:) Enjoy!

Planting A Rainbow

One of my all time favorite things to do with the kids is to connect literature to life.

I adore reading quality children's literature to them and living it out
OR
just having fun with it.

Like reading

If You Give a Pig a Pancake - and whipping up syrupy pancakes
The Napping House - and taking a snooze
Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed - and getting some good air
The Doorbell Rang - and making cookies to share
The Grouchy Ladybug - and painting rocks to look like ladybugs

Today we read Planting a Rainbow, by Lois Ehlert. Selah especially adored this book; Adden, not so much. But they both loved getting dirt underneath their fingernails and planting some seeds. Adden, well, he REALLY loved the dirt. Digging it, tasting it, throwing it up in the air. The child is in desperate need of a bath. We all are, but I diverge.

To be quite honest, I have my doubts that anything will grow. I'm not even sure why I attempted planting anything, knowing that I can't keep already vibrant plants alive. But for the kids' sake, I'm praying that something - anything - will sprout up. Even if it's just a weed, they're going to be psyched. And I will think that I'm a budding horticulturalist.

If you're a parent, what are some of your kids' favorite books?
And how have you linked literature to life?
I'm always on the prowl for good ideas. Thanks!

Pink Valentine's Day Yummy

One scoop of vanilla ice cream + strawberry soda

Selah was beside herself with this pink concoction at our tea party today. I love that sweet little giggle of hers; those wide blue eyes brimming with anticipation; the delicate way she held her teacup up to her mouth for the smallest of sips; the prancing around the house in her pink tutu.

Her momma needed a good lesson today: to learn how to delight in the simplest of all pleasures.

Thank you for teaching me, sweetheart. I love you like crazy cakes:)

Facing Fear

(Notes from Stacy Gallagher)

Fear can be motivational or crippling. People respond to fears by tackling them or cowering down under them.

Anger is always a shield emotion for fear. So to resolve the anger, you have to identify the fear.

Night terrors (in children) can be attributed to spiritual warfare. The head of the home needs to be vigilant in praying for his children in order for them to be resolved.

Children's fears need to be honored, not minimized or maximized. If fears are not dealt with early, they will develop into life-crippling phobias.

Men's fears are often performance driven. (Fear of failure) Women's fears are often relational. (We're afraid we're too much and not enough all at the same time.)

Transference of fears is probable if we don't address the fears in our own lives. Kids easily absorb the fears of their parents.

Fear entered into our world because of a lie. (Genesis 3:10) Most fears are founded on lies.... The ultimate message of fear is that God cannot be trusted.

Our Creator knew that we would be a people who are often afraid. He left us with 365 references on fear.

A Healthier Home

Last night I worked a Gymboree seminar, sponsored by Healthy Child, Healthy World. I wanted to be there anyway, so it was pretty sweet that I got paid for it. I kind of consider myself to be well informed about creating a healthy environment for our little tykes. I was wrong.

Studies show that more than 125 million Americans, especially children, now face an historically unprecedented rise in chronic disease and illness such as cancer, autism, asthma, birth defects, ADD / ADHD, and learning and developmental disabilities. Credible scientific evidence increasingly points to environmental hazards and household chemicals as causing and contributing to many of these diseases.

Now I'm not going to go crazy kung fu paranoid on our family, to Paul's relief. At my very core, I trust in the purposes of God and in His inherent goodness to allow whatever He sees fit in our lives. But He also asks us to take care of ourselves - body, mind, and soul - so we can fully and completely honor Him. Therefore, I will be making some changes little by little to reduce our exposure to chemicals and toxins that are taking up residence in our home and in our bodies.

Here are 5 ways to get started, as suggested by http://www.healthychild.org/.

1. Manage pests safely
2. Use non-toxic cleaning products (cleaners, personal hygiene products, home furnishings)
3. Clean up indoor air (often the air in our homes is more toxic than city pollution)
4. Shop smart (eat organic and healthy foods)
5. Be wise with plastics

Health Care Haves and Have Nots

The kids have been miserable of late - high fevers, chills, coughs, no appetites, and lots of crying. Adden is in the midst of Roseola and Selah just seems to have tons of congestion and an evening fever. Thankfully, Paul and I have dodged stuff thus far. Though it stinks to look in their cloudy, sick looking eyes and though it's not so much fun to have to deal with, I can't help but think how good we've got it.

We've got clean water to drink, affordable health care, 24 hour access to amazing medical professionals, and medicine to relieve their symptoms. If Adden didn't make a complete turnaround in an hour Saturday night, we would've landed in the ER. It would have been inconvenient, we would have had to wait a good while, and we would have been nervous for our little guy, but it would have been posh - clean facilities, 20 minute drive in our little Mazda 5 (or is it 6 or 7? I'm so bad with numbers!), and great doctors and nurses. (The staff at Children's is phenomenal.)

Contrast that with a mom who has a feverish, lethargic little one and no meds or clean water to give him, no one to call, and no access to transportation. My heart breaks for these women who carry their children miles upon miles to the nearest clinic in scorching heat, only to find out it's too late. I don't mean to be a Debbie Downer here, but it happens all the time, every day. This is an injustice.

Paul sent me to a blog a while ago of a short-term medical doctor journalling her time in Haiti. She is now back in the states, but the archives of her days are still available at sleepydoctor.blogspot.com. She tells countless stories of poverty, suffering, terrible medical conditions, and an extreme lack of funding in her facility. Yet she also journals stories of hope, healing, and sacrifice that give promise to the country of Haiti.

If you have the means and even if you don't - please consider supporting medical missions somewhere in this world. Consider personally encouraging doctors that your church may support, going on a medical missions trip yourself, or giving to those who do this stuff everyday. Here is a skinny list of organizations to check out:

Real Hope for Haiti (realhopeforhaiti.org) : a faith based organization that is intentional in its efforts to improve the quality of life for the citizens of rural Haiti, while communicating the Gospel of Jesus Christ. For $10 a month, you can treat 30 people for Malaria. For $20 a month, you can deworm 128 kids. For $40 a month, you can provide a monthly supply of formula for a child. Not too shabby.

Compassion International (www.compassion.com) : for $32 a month you can provide for a child's
education, health care, and nutrition, among other things. You will also allow a child to hear about Jesus, the One who came to bring hope to this world. This organization is the real deal. I reread at least 25 old letters last evening from our sponsored kids. Roberto, the oldest, has been a part of our family for 8 years now. Wow. He'll be graduating from the program soon!

World Vision (www.worldvision.com): a Christian relief and development organization dedicated to helping children and their communities worldwide reach their full potential by tackling the causes of poverty. World Vision has this cool gift catalog, by the way, that enables you to make a donation in honor of someone. I personally can't think of a better gift! For $41, you can provide basic immunizations for one child. For $50, you can provide safe drinking water for a school. For $39,000, you can build or renovate a health clinic in Africa (okay, well this one is way out of our financial league, but it would be very, very cool!!!!!)

Hoops of Hope (www.hoopsofhope.org): a mission started by a teenage guy that provides care and hope to the 15 million children orphaned by HIV/AIDS by encouraging people of all ages to participate and raise funds through annual free throw shooting marathons. We're praying that one of our teens will head one of these babies up. It would be an absolute blast and would raise money for an awesome cause!

Any other worthy organizations you know of? I'm curious to learn about more. Thanks!

A Letter To My Son

Adden-

What's up, little guy? I've decided to write you a letter for your first birthday. Here's to hoping I make this a tradition, but we'll see how that goes.

A year has flown by already. Wow. It really just seems like you just popped out and we sat on the words, "It's a boy." If you check out your newborn pics, I am bawling - I couldn't have been more thrilled. Your dad was just as happy. Selah, too. At one glance, you stole our hearts.

We've fallen in love with a guy who has personality, boundless energy, sensitivity, curiosity, and a crazy glimmer in his eye. You are either screaming yourself purple or laughing your head off. You are either catapulting yourself into the bathtub, sprinkling yourself with the toilet wand, or scaling Selah's wall.

You adore listening to music and bee bopping that head of yours. Oh, and you bee bop two thirds of a way through a meal also, when your belly tells you it's getting full. You love throwing and catching balls, following your big sister around, getting flung in the air, hanging upside down, reading book after book (The Foot Book is your favorite), and waiting for daddy to get home. You would spend all day banging the door for him if I let you.

Of course, there are apologies to be made. I've complained way too much about my sleep deprivation, headaches, and eye twitches with you. (But way to go, little buddy, you figured sleeping out at 11 months!) I've also missed out on scrapbooking your first year, writing all those special facts and figures down, and grabbing my camera for every face you make.

But, in your favor was the time we got to spend together. I held you more, I sang to you more. It's not that I didn't enjoy that with Selah. It's just that having my first child really walloped me. I was so not prepared. At least with you, I knew what to expect and I was geared up. We didn't get any sleep - you and I - but we sure did hang out a ton and I loved it.

Mr. Adden - You have helped me to enjoy the now - more than I ever have. Thanks for pausing my days. I never get anything completed on my to-do lists anymore. The house is always out of whack somewhere. But the more important parts of my life are in whack. And that's a good thing. In this pause, I have found myself laughing more, living more, and loving more.

You make me smile.
Love always,
Mommy

A Particular People, A Particular Place

Two Wednesdays out of the month, I drag myself out of bed early and hijack the kids out of bed (which, by the way, one should never do!) I scramble to get every one's clothes on, throw food in their stomachs, wash remnants off their faces, do a last bathroom call/diaper check, and pack their bags. Somewhere along the way, I get dressed also, put makeup on while holding Adden on my hip, and throw my hair back into a ponytail - because, well, there just isn't time for anything else. There are all sorts of protests in that 1 1/2 hour span, including hungry Adden screaming himself purple in the face, Selah whining because her milk in an Elmo cup instead of a Cinderella cup, and then the refrain, "No go to MOPS, no go!" once she realizes where we are headed. (Selah has recently entered into a separation anxiety phase, so she is not so thrilled about the childcare, even though she should be.)

After a 12 min car ride, we end up at the church quite frazzled and harried, but there nonetheless. If I don't have spit up all over my shirt, I think I look fabulous. I scamper to the childcare room, unpeal a screaming Selah off of me, and head upstairs with Adden in tow. We sneak into the meeting during the devotions, since we are always about 10 minutes late on a good day. Following the devotions is a message, a breakfast buffet, a craft, and lots of talking, laughing, and listening.

Yesterday wrapped up my second year in the MOPS program. I actually can't believe I've been so faithful, considering how hard it is just to arrive. But I am there almost every meeting, barring sickness or work. And I love it. The messages are relevant and informative, the food is my splurge, the craft is always cute and practical, the childcare is great, there are newsletters to take home and relish during naptime, and even the room is made to look welcoming and adorable. Every last detail is planned and organized with careful precision. But none of these components would ever keep me making the effort, meeting after meeting.

What I have come to love is the relationships that I have built. I can't tell you how much I have needed other women, my age, going through the same stage of life as me. We commiserate over sleepless nights, share suggestions about how to discipline kids, encourage one another to seek God, and laugh over our cameos in each others' dreams. I especially thank God for my small group's authenticity, the lessons they have taught me, and the listening they have done.

Winn Collier said, "One of the beauties - as well as the prickly points- of Christian faith is that it is never intended to be lived in theory. Faith is fleshed out among particular people, in particular places. Some of the most important elements of our spiritual pilgrimage will be names - names of friends we've had and places we've lived. There will be people we couldn't get enough of and people who hung around way too much. There will be places that felt like home..."

I suppose that's why I keep coming back, making the effort to be there early Wednesday mornings. It just feels like home.

Simple Joys

While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about. ~Angela Schwindt

I've heard it said that children find everything in nothing and men find nothing in everything.

Thank you, Selah and Adden, for helping me to see the world anew. I love you two little rascals.

Speaking Truth Into Our Kids' Lives

At my mom's group last week, a speaker shared some great truths about loving kids. The information is applicable to anyone who has a child or teenager in their life. I know it will help me with expressing love to my own children, as well as the kids in the youth group (though that will look different in some aspects for them!) I hope it's helpful to you as well.

She talked about speaking genuine acceptance into your child's life (or in scripture, they refer to it as "the blessing.") The best defense against a child (or teen) seeking acceptance in self-destructive ways is for them to grasp their worth in their parents' eyes and in God's eyes. Basically, you want to attach high value to each of your children in very tangible ways - not for what they do, but for who they are.

There are five basic parts of the blessing (as described in scripture.)

1. Meaningful Touch: communicating warmth, personal acceptance, and affirmation - whether it be holding hands, back scratching, a high five, playing with their hair, whatever.

2. A spoken message: speaking words of truth into their lives - children will live up to the words used to describe them. I have seen this over and over again, especially in teaching. Words carry tremendous weight, whether spoken or written. I have seen kids labeled as "trouble" turn out to be the best kids in my class- not because of anything I actually did - just because I attached a different meaning to them.

Along these lines, make sure kids know what God says about them...

That they are fearfully and wonderfully made.
That God does not make mistakes, even if people do. We are designed exactly the way we are for a reason.
That God has a purpose for our lives and we have the capacity to live a life of eternal significance.
That God is for us and not against us.
That He will never leave us.
That He loves us immeasurably and the cross bears witness to that.

3. Attaching “high value” to the one being blessed: spending time with our kids, without distractions. If you're in the car, talk to them. Shut off the music, don't spend time on the phone. At home, turn off the tv or the computer - whatever takes away your focus and attention from your kids. Include them in family decisions. Spend time individually with each child. If you have more than one, never compare them - this will only lead to one of them failing in some measure and will set the stage for rivalry, jealousy, etc.

4. Picturing a special future for the one being blessed : NOT on the basis of what we want our child to become (in order to fulfull or satisfy something missing in our own soul,) but picture a special future for who God has created them to be. Focus on what they do well and then picture a special future around THEIR strengths.

5. An active commitment to fulfill the blessing: It is one thing to say all these things, but it is another to support them with action. Know your child's world, get on their level, do what they love to do, and speak their language. Find your child's sweet spot and develop it. Remember to strengthen their talents and not your own desires for them. Pray God's word over their lives, every spare moment of every day. And last of all, live God's word out in your own life. Adore and pursue Jesus and see if they don't follow along:).